|Pictured: Czar pulling his sword out
of a recently gutted left wing pundit.
‘Puter finally realized what’s really been bugging him, aside from the passel of yellow jackets nesting in his unitard. More specifically, ‘Puter’s been annoyed by President Obama’s “you didn’t build that” quote.
In today’s Washington Post, Richard Cohen dutifully lays out the liberals’ standard rebuttal to conservatives’ wrath about Mr. Obama’s quote. In a nutshell, the liberal media’s denial jig goes something like this (sung to the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean):
1. Mr. Obama didn’t really say “you didn’t build that.”
2. If Mr. Obama did say it, he didn’t mean it
3. If Mr. Obama did say it and did mean it, then evil conservatives are taking Mr. Obama out of context.
4. If Mr. Obama did say it, did mean it and it is in context, then “you didn’t build it” is true.
‘Puter opines here that if the liberal media actually believed the quote was true and defensible, they’d lead with that argument. It’s not good form to use truth as a last ditch argument. People have an annoying habit of assuming you’re lying about the truth of something if that’s not your first line of defense.
Mr. Cohen’s column specifically cites the GI Bill, the internet and the Erie Canal (oddly) in support of his proposition that government is the great provider, the sine qua non, that without which businesses could not operate or thrive. That, right there, my friends, is liberalism in a nutshell. There is nothing you are, there is nothing you do, there is nothing you own, there is nothing you create that the government does not or should not have hand in.
‘Puter’s response is thus. Yes, Mr. Obama, we did in fact build this. At least the 53% of Americans who actually pay taxes did build it. Even if we grant your baseline assumption that the government is solely responsible for the interstate highway system, the internet, the military-industrial complex, Tang and legal ruled notepads, we still built it.
Government is no more and no less than the mechanism through which consenting individuals on a national scale enact their will for the good of the whole. That’s the sole reason for the existence of government: to provide a mechanism for the people collectively to do necessary things individuals cannot do for themselves. That’s it. Nothing more.
So, Mr. Obama’s claim that “you didn’t build it” is verifiiably disproven. We did build it. Steve Jobs built it with his tax dollars. So did Chik-Fil-A. So did the illegal immigrant Mexicans who while breaking the law nevertheless have federal taxes withheld from tehir paychecks. We all built it. Each one of us built it.
We taxpayers have ponied up more than our fair share over the years to “build that.” We each have the right to use that which we have built. Heck, those of us who paid to “build that” are so nice as to allow those who are freeloading to use that which we have built as they see fit at no cost to them. The fact that many of liberal Democrats’ base voters haven’t taken advantage of what we Americans have collectively built through our government to better themselves does not make it true that we “didn’t build that.” We did.
And ‘Puter’s just about done listening to liberals claim otherwise.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.