You may have heard about Lenny B. Robinson. His black Lambo was pulled over in Maryland last week for not having license plates; he was also dressed in a perfect Batman costume. Turns out Mr. Robinson is a well-to-do businessman who was on his way to a children’s hospital in his “Batmobile”; he purchases about $25,000 in Batman-themed toys for kids each year, and hands them out to sick children with no other reason than he wants to cheer the kids up.

Nearly all of the people who heard this story thought “How nice,” and went about their day. The news media is having a hard time with it: Mr. Robinson has since become a national news story, and the Czar is sorry to know why.

Lenny Robinson is by most accounts wealthy. And he spends a heckuva lot of his money buying toys for sick kids.

See, wealthy people aren’t supposed to do this. They are supposed to light cigars with $50 bills and chuck empty wine bottles at minorities while drawing up plans for car elevators in their opulent homes’s garages.

The last thing wealthy people are supposed to do is take their money and just give it to people who need it (and by “need,” we mean “want”). That, you see, is a Democratic government’s job, and that makes Lenny B. Robinson a freak of nature to the media.

What the media is not realizing is that most wealthy people donate massive amounts of time and money to really needy people with no thought of tax writeoffs, illegal fiscal laundering, or offshore accounts. Mr. Robinson does with his money what most Americans would do in his position (although, admittedly, a little over the top as far as colorful presentation). Whether it is buying a new stained glass window for the church, or donating food to the suburban community center or throwing hundreds of dollars in change into collection boxes at stores and restaurants, most conservative wealthy people (repeated studies confirm) give way more than their liberal counterparts. Way more.

Mr. Robinson probably likes the attention his costume gives him—but only because it draws attention to the sick kids he entertains. The Czar would not be surprised to see copycat entertainers or increased donations to childrens’s wards at hospitals as a result of his national publicity.

What makes this story an eyeroll is why the media keeps talking about him: they can’t figure him out, because he goes against the stereotype. And that’s very sad.

Good luck and good work to Mr. Robinson. May he continue (and be able to continue) his charitable work for many more years. And may the liberal media learn something valuable about human nature because of it.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.