Congratulations to Senator Rick Santorum, who effectively won the Iowa caucuses despite an effective tie with Governor Mitt Romney, simply by pulling from almost last place to pretty much first place.

The Czar is too cynical and too much a realist to conclude this settles everything. How well he recalls Howard Dean’s victory in Iowa. And Bob Dole in 1996 won Iowa with the same percentages or better. But he offers Senator Santorum the following thoughts, culled from Conservative media:

1. Santorum will never win Iowa.
2. Even if Santorum wins in Iowa, he will never win in New Hampshire.
3. Even if Santorum wins New Hampshire, he will never be the nominee.
4. Even if Santorum is the nominee, he will never beat Barack Obama.
5. Even if Santorum wins the Presidency, he will never be successful because he lacks the support of Congress.

One down.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.