The Czar remembers things. He remembers the Mark Fiorino case, in which Fiorino strapped on a .40 Glock, as fully allowed by Pennsylvania law, and walked by two Philadelphia police officers. Officers immediately ordered him to surrender the weapon, and Fiorino refused as he was obeying the law. Fiorino captured the entire exchange on audio, in which he also referred the police officers to a Philadelphia PD internal memo that advised officers that open carry was legal in Philly. He was arrested for reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct—although most interestingly, not for carrying a firearm.

Anyway, this ticked off a lot of people. The Czar believed that Fiorino was in full compliance, but acted like a jerk and provoked the cops. We cited his suspiciously arcane knowledge of internal police memos and a pocket audio recorder active throughout the entire exchange. To the Czar, that seems like he was itchin’ for a scrap, and he got one.

Volgi had a different view, in which he believes the cops were far more at fault than the Czar allowed, and that no evidence exists that concretely suggests Fiorino acted improperly. And even if so, the cops need a good talking to. Volgi and the Czar agreed that a DA would be a putz to try to prosecute this. The evidence was ridiculously weak.

The DA was a putz, and he prosecuted the case. Worse, the Czar predicted that the case would be either dismissed, or that more evidence would be uncovered that warranted the arrest. The Czar, in a rare moment, called this incorrectly. On October 27, 2011, Mark Fiorino was found not guilty on both counts (reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct). The Czar congratulates and salutes Mr. Fiorino on his innocence.

However, the Czar stands by his belief that Mr. Fiorino knew what he was doing, and strongly suggests that in future, people be very careful when trying to provoke a response from law enforcement. It can be like reaching for a dog’s bone to see if he’ll snap at you. If you lose a finger, it ain’t the dog who was the idiot.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.