Bizarre what’s been going on with the Virginia Republican Party. But unfortunately explicable.

In most states, you can get yourself put on a presidential ballot with only about 5,000 signatures. This seems reasonable, so that you can weed out nonsense or frivolous candidates. However, Viriginia’s GOP required, for whatever reason, 10,000 signatures. This means a candidate needs to get 10,000 valid signatures to get his or her name put on the commonwealth ballot.

However, in November, the Virginia GOP upped that to 15,000 signatures—way too late in the game for any candidates except Mitt Romney (who has enough broad support to get 5,000 more signatures in a few weeks) and Ron Paul (who has enough volunteers to make a human sidewalk if he asked them to…and he might). Candidates like Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum basically got shut out; there was no way they could organize that many more signatures in the time remaining.

Okay, why? Basically, because of an interesting lawsuit filed by a former Republican candidate that ran for Congress. He claimed that these odd requirements were a ploy by the Virginia GOP to squeeze out people ”not connected.” He was challenging favorite son Israel O’Quinn for the same seat, and he claimed that the Virginia GOP was colluding to keep certain candidates in power and others out of power.

The rules were so rigged against him that he had to run as an independent (unsuccessfully); however, the argument he made raised so many questions that people began to take notice. For example, if the Virginia GOP wanted to ensure Mitt Romney would be the winner, they could exclude the others by rigging the ballot—like, um, perhaps raising the minimum number of signatures put on a petition for validity.

Okay, that squeezed out Gingrich, Perry, and Santorum (Bachmann might have had trouble even if the 5,000 threshold was used). But surely they did not count on Ron Paul, right? Did they expect this trick to squeeze him out?

Evidently not, because the apparently corrupt-as-hell bastards in the Virginia GOP have made a new rule: a loyalty oath! If you vote in the Virginia Republican primary, you hereby agree to support and vote for whomever the eventual nominee is. Like, say, Mitt Romney.

That oughta scare the bejeesus outta those Ron Paul whackjobs!

The Czar concludes that the people of Virginia need to clean up this insult to democracy before they point fingers at the horrid corruption of the Chicago machine. Rigging ballot requirements at the last moment? Loyalty oaths?

You want to know why DC-area Republicans are so un-conservative? Look at the toaster that pops ‘em out.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.