With the long-overdue death of Kim Jong Il, the future of North Korea has never been stranger. Generally, Nork watchers assume that Kim Jong Un will be the new leader of North Korea.

Is this good news? Incredibly, it is hard to tell. We know very little about him or his viewpoints. When Kim Il Sung died in 1994, few people celebrated the succession to Kim Jong Il: while some less-read folks in the media thought his Western proclivities and love of all things American would thaw the country, it was well known that the son inherited the savagery of the father.

But Jong Un? Shoot, we don’t even know his birthdate. There are few confirmed photographs of the 27-ish-year-old four star general, and none particularly recent. He was educated in Europe, and rumors have him a big fan of American sports celebrities. Beyond that, he is a total cipher.

Conceivably, he could be worse than his father. He could also be intelligent enough to realize that North Korea is a doomed zombie of a country, and immediately seek to end decades of on-again/off-again hostilities. Odds are he will not be exactly the same as his evil, sociopathic father.

We have no idea. But the future of Korea is about to change.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.