What Matters
Hey, news media.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. But perhaps Kim Kardashian is more important.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. However, we should probably focus on the fact Jessica Simpson has been pregnant for a while.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. Meanwhile, someone accused Herman Cain of a vaguely inappropriate gesture a long time ago. Maybe someone else did, too, so let’s speculate on that.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. But hang on—Lindsay Lohan wants to show off her emaciation in Playboy.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. Interestingly, the McRib is back. Because overcooked rib meat is so hard to come by these days.
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. But damn, if Google didn’t have a wacky video for Halloween. Didja catch Santa Claus in there?
America is headed for a financial crisis of epic proportions. Whoa! This is interesting: a deer was found inside a python. Damn!
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.