Well, despite fears to the contrary, the Czar caught quite a bit of the debate. Fortunately for you, this will probably be our shortest debate review ever.

The dynamics were much more interesting tonight. None of the Czar’s previous criticisms go away—Mitt Romney is still that smiling dude from the enlargement commercial, Rick Perry is still unable to talk longer than 12 seconds without rambling, Rick Santorum is still the innocent kid told to stay after school because he stood next to the punks who vandalized the lockers, and so on.

But what we saw was a different dynamic tonight. First, there was an attempt to pile on Herman Cain, which he did all right in surviving, but overall still cannot fathom that he is now a serious contender. Huntsman was, fortunately, not appearing tonight and somehow this made the event much more watchable without his smug mincing at every question.

Overall, the more interesting result was the Not Mitt strategy employed by most of the candidates not actually named Mitt Romney. Santorum, Paul, Cain, and Perry both rose up and snapped at him.

Cain, in particular, did very well when he described himself as a Main Street man who had experience working awful, crap jobs, growing into small business, and eventually building up to CEO (including hiring and firing folks), whereas Romney was just a Wall Street CEO. Flustered and off-guard, Romney protested that he, too, connected with small business owners…after all, he was CEO of a major trading firm, a high-profile consulting firm, Olympic chairman, and governor of Massachusetts. Yeah, Mitt: just like Mrs. Grunwald from down the street. Way to relate. Dope.

This is good. Not that it had any effect: Mitt Romney clearly handled himself and wound up being his usual game show host with the stern reminders. But something happened—hard to say, but easy to see: he looked nervous for the first time tonight at several points. Many of the questions clearly irked him.

When the other candidates see this, they will be emboldened to go further. Santorum and Perry both kept the pressure on. Because they were the only two who did, they wound up looking a little bitchy. But Cain should—should—realize he can dial up the pressure on Romney very easily next debate.

Not all did: Gingrich continued to chide the media for encouraging “bickering,” and Michelle Bachmann returned to her debut album playlist for every question, even to where moderator Anderson Cooper demand she actually answer a question about defense cuts, rather than continually shout out that Obama is a one-term president.

So here it is: the next debate ought to be far more interesting. Look to see Santorum, Perry, and Cain really snap at Romney, expect to see Romney look nervous for the first time, Ron Paul to clinch some sucker applause with clever lines, Gingrich to lash out at the moderators, and Bachmann to repeat the same stuff over and over.

This debate was merely a prequel for the next.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.