The Czar hates non-news stories.

Take a piece from The Washington Post: “Scrutiny for Cain Likely At Republican Presidential Debate”.

Start with the title. Something is likely to happen. Great.

Next, the WaPo (by way of the Associated Press) wants you to know that:

The businessman has been facing intense scrutiny in recent weeks as his poll numbers have soared. He likely will face tough questions — on his professional past and his issue positions as well as his viability — when he gathers on stage later Tuesday with his Republican presidential foes for the latest GOP debate.

Let us see if we have this right. A candidate has ascended in popularity, and as a result people are looking at his positions more closely. Further, he may get asked questions about this at the debate tonight.

Wow. And from this shocking piece of reporting, we learn that (a) Romney is very popular, (b) Bachmann and Perry have risen and fallen, and (c) Cain could also rise and fall—but right now, he is popular.

Now, in the event you forget this is WaPo, what follows is a short litany of why Cain would be a bad president: people do not particularly think 9-9-9- will be effective, that he does not care much for foreign policy, that he makes jokes about electric fences, and so forth. The piece concludes by informing the reader that there is a debate somewhere, tonight, and that other candidates will be there. And check out what seems to be a non sequitur ending:

Also potentially at issue on Tuesday is the foreclosure crisis.

So far, it’s been almost forgotten on the campaign trail, but the candidates will probably have little choice but to address it. Nevada has the nation’s highest unemployment rate, a statistic that’s driving the highest foreclosure rate in the nation. It’s the root of the economic crisis, but it barely has been discussed as issues like immigration and vaccines for children have dominated the GOP primary.

What?

Now think about this: imagine you and your readership skews to the Liberal Left. Now the piece makes sense: who is this Herman Cain fellow, and why should we hate him? And why are the Republicans foolish to debate? Suddenly, this clicks into place, given that few libs seem to know much about the GOP candidates right now other than they should be despised for one reason or another.

What is at the root of the economic crisis? Foreclosure? Or liberal policies over the last few decades that have finally come home to roost? In that respect, the GOP candidates have all addressed that pretty directly.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.