The Sky Is Falling, The Sky Is Falling
So the (mild) panic is setting in with the UARS uncontrolled re-entry approaching. Current estimates put the re-entry time sometime this (September 23rd) afternoon or early evening. Websites with various tracking applications are being overloaded and, apparently, NASA is so busy they haven’t updated their estimate in the last 10 hours (as of this writing). The experts estimate that about 26 pieces of the heaviest metal (beryllium, stainless steel and titanium) components will make it through the atmosphere for a total around 1,200 pounds of material striking the earth. The largest piece is likely to weigh in around 300 pounds upon impact. AS of now, which is 6.5 hours before the estimated re-entry time (give or take 20 hours), the best estimate released for the strike zone is anywhere between 57°N and 57°S. While significant, falling debris happens more and more frequently as we launch more and more into space.
For those nervous nellies out there, feel free to use the QR Code to the left and get an app from AGI that will allow you to track the UARS as the re-entry time nears. It might have the capability to link to driving directions so you can go get
crushed souvenir pieces. The directions for the app are here. I’m not sure if there’s an iGet iCrushed by the iUARS app out there or not, Apple may be suing someone to block it from the Apple App Store. ‘Puter is carefully moving his precious possessions just in case.
You can also follow updates on this Twitter feed (and while you’re adding them, add the Gormogons too)!
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.