The New York Times’ editors make a perfectly valid argument that application of the death penalty is unjust and immoral. The editors then claim that the remedy is to have an unnamed court (likely the United States Supreme Court) declare the death penalty unconstitutional.
As the editorial glosses over, the Supreme Court has held that the death penalty does not violate the Constitution. Yet the NYT’s editors would have the current SCOTUS members blithely ignore settled precedent. ‘Puter wonders to himself whether the editors would be so glib if the conservative majority determined to ignore stare decisis in order declare abortion unconstitutional, which a significant number of Americans likewise find unjust and immoral.
The correct remedy is for the NYT’s editors to convince state legislators, or even Congress (that pesky Commerce Clause rears its ugly head again), to simply outlaw the death penalty. The Supreme Court has only held that states’ use of the death penalty is constitutionally permissible. It has not held that all states must enact a death penalty provision.
Rather than utilizing the simple solution available (elected representatives reflecting the will of the people), the NYT like the good liberal house organ it is decided to go for the over reach (unelected jurists imposing their will on the country). ‘Puter suspects this is a recognition by the editors of the unpopularity of their opinions outside the smug confines of their urban(e) bastions.
This is among the many reasons ‘Puter has so little respect for the NYT.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.