Duck And Cover!
Sometime late this month or early next month, a 6.5 ton satellite (the Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite or UARS) will experience an uncontrolled deorbit. That’s a fancy term for: it’s failing to maintain orbit and it’s going to come spiraling down to Earth and there’s no way NASA can control it’s trajectory as it comes in.
NASA will be taking measures to notify and warn the public as it the event nears and more is known. A simulation of the re-entry showed that 12 component types (26 elements) with a mass of about 1,170 pounds will be falling into an area around 500 miles long. The public is not to touch any suspected piece of UARS and they should contact local law enforcement.
‘Puter already has his blind set up on one of the castle balconies – fully stocked with Buffalo Jerky, Manhattans (no damn Maraschino cherries), and his Remington 11-96 shotgun. He figures it’ll be good skeet practice.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.