Apologies to those who don’t get the Dinsey Channel movie reference…

Admittedly, I am on the fence with this issue that ‘Puter raises below – I’m all for enforcing the rule of law – even as ridiculous as some are.  MoCo has to be one of the highest regulated (read: taxed) areas in the country (see this site and in particular this page).  Let me digress for a moment to provide, as ‘Puter calls it, some “flavor”.  Anything you put in your yard – shed, fence, deck, etc. requires a permit with a rather laborious process and onerous “fees” (read: taxes).  Larger decks – larger fees.  Years ago, GorT wanted put a 10’x10′ shed in his “backyard”.  I followed the process – filed for a permit, had a site inspection, provided plans, shed specifications, etc.  The back of our house had a natural corner where the shed fit – the ground was already a edged, mulched bed and the shed was relatively hidden from neighbors – an effort, GorT thought on his behalf, of keeping eyesores out of neighbors’ sightlines.  Well, MoCo defines (in some ridiculous government regulatory document) that your backyard begins parallel with the rearmost wall of your house and no external structures may be placed elsewhere.  GorT was informed of this and engaged in an almost-heated debate with the county official in Rockville.  So, with pencil in-hand, GorT redrew the location smack dab along the fence line (minus the appropriate set-back) in the back corner of our lot – in plain view of 3 neighbors and the general public in the open space behind us.  I went on to construct the shed and arranged for the site inspection – only to find that I needed to add tiedowns (steel cables run thru the ceiling into augers on either side – why?  Because the shed must withstand a Category 2 or 3 (I forget which) hurricane.  GRRRRRR.  Out to the local big box home improvement store and tens of dollars later I implemented said requirement.  Re-inspection and we’re good to go. 

So with that flavor in mind, let’s look at this lemonade stand issue.  First, let’s take the family out of it.  Regardless if it’s the Rockafellers or John Doe down the road, the laws, regulations and practices should be the same.  Second, while a lemonade stand on the corner of a busy road is a concern for traffic, ‘Puter’s making a bigger issue of this than I think reality supports.  Any vehicles on said roads aren’t stopping for lemonade – they are traveling directly do/from the US Open or the associated parking or they are local residents screaming in their cars “get the F**&*(D out of my neighborhood you asshats”.  The patrons for the lemonade stand are those walking from the $40/day-parking-on-neighbor’s-yards folks to the country club.  It’s a kids lemonade stand.  As much as I hate the argument “it’s for the kidzzzz” as ‘Puter points out – I think the benefits of encouraging kids to do something like this outweigh the negatives.  Finally, according to MoCo regulations, not surprisingly, a lemonade stand needs a license.  The smallest registration fee, if they qualify, is $100 – I’m not sure which of the seven categories this lemonade stand would fall and I would note that the form doesn’t allow for “Other – $0”. 

The paranoid folks will likely chalk this up to the following: the US Open is a major event bringing in tens of thousands of specators, media and athletes to the area and therefore the tax revenue will increase.  A refreshment stand that likely will not make enough to matter, that won’t be submitting taxes on the income, will reduce the possible tax revenue to the county.  I don’t know if I fully buy that but this does smell a little like Ebenezer Scrooge.  Of course, if the county is serious about enforcing this law, then I would expect the lemonade license police out in force over the next few months raking in these $500 fines.  I’ve seen 3 in my ‘hood in the last few weeks….and LOLZLRRR! one was near a school during dismissal!!>!>!  Glad my freaking tax dollars are going to this.

GorT

GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.