Willful Ignorance
The New York Times again beclowns itself. In an editorial today, it opines in support of a proposed law requiring all new semiautomatic handguns sold in New York to microstamp shell casings. Thus spake the editorial board:
The microstamping process uses lasers to make tiny markings on a gun’s firing pin and other internal surfaces, identifying the weapon’s make, model and serial number. When a gun is fired, this information is stamped onto the bullet casing. That sounds like a very smart idea to us.
It is a great idea. Except for the fact that microstamping doesn’t work well, it’s sold by exactly one manufacturer, it’s easily defeated by effacing the stamping, it,s an indirect tax on gun purchasers, it does nothing to deal with existing firearms (which can remain functional for decades) and it doesn’t apply to revolvers, rifles or shotguns. Don’t take ‘Puter’s word for it, click through and read the study done by a research in New York, for Pete’s sake.
Just because you ignore one side of the argument, NYT, doesn’t mean it suddenly disappears.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.