Circle the Jackwagons!
Look, it’s like this. The Czar does not care for Geico commercials, because they are never as funny as their ad people think they are.
But then, the Czar saw this on television Sunday, and thinks it is easily the funniest Geico commercial ever. Indeed, it is a commercial of remarkable brilliance starring the great R. Lee Ermey.
Turn this bad boy up.
Brilliant in its execution. It is as if the Mandarin himself wrote this.
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.