Ok, I’m On Board
So we have already discussed the increasing encroachment of government into our daily lives: from the ObamaCare bill, to declaring carbon dioxide to be a dangerous substance (quick, stop exhaling), to regulating salt in our diets to a brand new one. The Santa Clara legislators have declared a ban on including toys with restaurant meals with high sugar, salt or fat content.
If this is the route we’re taking and it’s gaining this kind of speed, I’m going to jump on board. Instead of just letting parents take some responsibility and tell little Billy that he can’t go to fast food restaurants every day of the week until he collects all five Gormogon action figures because it’s not good for him, we’ll defer everything to the government. They can tell little Suzie why it’s bad to stick metal objects in electrical outlets by declaring a ban on metal utensils. And that rebel Tommy down the street, well no more playing outside because there’s a ban on excessive exposure to sunlight to help quell the rise of skin cancers.
While the conservative talking heads wear on me at times, their catch phrase of the “nanny state” is apropos. Don’t mind me, after I remove the tongue from my cheek, I’m going to go take a long drink from my garden hose before the government bans that too….for any number of reasons.
GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.