Not all of you, and not literally. Well, maybe some of you, and literally, but you get ‘Puter’s point.
Health care workers are screaming that their “rights” are being infringed. Anytime you hear a largely unionized workforce complaining about their “rights” being infringed, be suspicious. The problem? Big, bad New York State is requiring all health care workers to receive both the seasonal flu vaccine as well as the swine flu(‘Puter disbelieves the H1N1 tag. Plus, it’s more difficult to type) vaccine.
Here’s ‘Puter’s position. Health care workers are full of it. New York is not forcing them to get flu shots; the state’s setting a term of employment: flu vaccinations. Health care workers have a right to refuse the vaccinations. However, their employers have a right to fire them for their refusal to do so.
‘Puter has no sympathy for people who work with the sick in any capacity (‘Puter’s looking at you, whiny nutritionist cited in the article) who knowingly put their charges at risk. Your “right” to refuse vaccines is tempered by ‘Puter’s right not to be subjected to avoidable disease exposure in receiving health care. So, go get your danged flu, polio, tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, small pox, chicken pox and whatever other vaccinations the medical-industrial complex has come up with and shut your yaps. ‘Puter has the right to be safe from your boneheaded Luddism.
This brouhaha is reminiscent of the Dixie Chicks whining that people weren’t buying their albums after they bashed President Bush during a concert in London. You have rights. your exercise of them may come with a downside. It’s part of the bargain.
So, health care workers, behave like adults. Make your choice, and live with the consequences. If feeding your whiny selves is so important, get the shots, stay quiet and keep working. If you’re truly standing on principal, ‘Puter’s certain one of the millions of unemployed would happily get the required vaccinations and take your job.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.