Michelle, Ma Belle Part Deux
Michelle Rhee, Chancellor of the D.C. Public School system, has had to deal with a significant ($666 million) budget shortfall. Chancellor Rhee is addressing this crisis by laying off underperforming teachers. The D.C. teachers’ union is predictably calling the layoffs bad for children, etc.
Surprisingly, the Washington Post supports Chancellor Rhee, stating that using a fiscal crisis to get rid of “teachers whose hold on their jobs has little to do with their value to students” is a good thing. This is about as strong a rebuke of teachers’ unions as one will ever see from the WaPo.
‘Puter would add that it’s a crying shame for the generations of children destroyed by the D.C public schools that this budgetary crisis did not come sooner. And it’s an even greater tragedy that the only way to get rid of ineffective tenured teachers is to not have enough money to pay them all.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.