The Obama administration is like a paranoid whackjob’s dream come true. How much government intrusion into daily lives is possible?

Well, how about your breakfast cereal, товарищ? According to the new FDA, Cheerios is making misleading health claims that may require it to be treated like a drug. Yeah, Cheerios.

The story is even freakier than your Czar is making it sound. Read it, if you dare.

UPDATE!—Or better yet, read the original story, which tells a slightly more interesting version: that General Mills is in fact violating FDA guidelines for presentation of scientific data in an incorrect format, which General Mills intends to correct. many thanks to Erik, who emailed the Czar a much more detailed analysis that shows how the media ran this story into the ground in less than three steps. And if there’s anything that the Czar distrusts more than our current government, it is of course the media! The Czar appreciates the correction.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.