Watching television, listening to radio, or monitoring the internet, you would think that by now, billions of people have swine flu, and you are next. No question. Pack it in.

Your Czar, like nearly all the experts being worn out by the media, urges quiet patience. Although swine flu can be serious, and appears to be quite contagious, the United States has still has an excellent health care system designed for just such problems. It is tested, and it is working.

So far, all American cases have recovered or are expected to recover fully. We have vaccine stocks, they are distributed, and are working, despite some fear-mongering among a lot of right-wing and left-wing outlets that assure us otherwise. A few hundred people, at this point, does not constitute a pandemic. And for those cringing over a pandemic, please do not use the Pandemic of 1918 as your baseline: there was virtually no treatment back then. If you choose to use history for scaring folks, look at the swine flu epidemic of the mid-1970s that was wiped out very quickly—using 1970s medical technology, at that.

The most serious cases are in areas with little or no healthcare. The flu season is ending shortly, and new cases will begin dwindling shortly. Many of the numbers of infected, worldwide, are proving to be regular flu, not swine flu. Airlines are continuing to fly with no restriction—presently, some airlines are letting you change your flight plans to and from Mexico without charges only if you ask. When you see the airlines cancelling flights for safety, then you can worry. If you have travel plans to Mexico, there are many other good reasons to cancel them anyway.

Swine flu is not necessarily fatal. While serious, and more aggressive than many other illnesses, most victims can and will survive with no treatment. And remember: regular old flu kills thousands of people each year; if you are taking reasonable precautions to prevent regular flu, you are already taking precautions against swine flu.

The Czar’s memory is very long. And he remembers the 1980s AIDS hysteria quite well, with London bobbies wearing surgical masks and gloves, and mayors of American cities planning to remove the bodies that were to pile up in the streets. So let us instead take a breath of clean air and get back to work.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.