Actually, ’Puter, your Volgi would have very little problem in turning North Korea over to China—though why China would want them is another question altogether. Even if it is an encouragement of Chinese imperialism, I think it’s hard to argue that stability in Asia would be decreased by moving the control of the DPRK and its nukes away from the insane, criminal, Hermit Kingdom mafia who run it now and put in the hands of the Chinese who already control a vast stock of nukes but seem to have pretty decent controls in place and a tradition of cautious statecraft. Plus, it’d be a great diversion for Chinese time and treasure, reconstructing their new province out of the hideous pre-modern nightmare it’s devolved into in the countryside. (And I’m sure the DPRK’s political prisoners would think the laogai would be a day at the beach. You guys get gruel?! 웃기지마! I used to f—ing dream about gruel!)

That said, like encouraging Russia to take a greater rôle in encouraging Iran to be responsible, such a play could founder on the Realpolitische fact that the Chinese may consider it more useful to have a crazy loonbag ally (that’s largely dependent up on them) in place to scare the bejeezus out of the ROK and Japan. It also results in the U.S., et al., being very solicitous to China at high-profile Six-Party Talks precisely because we think they can influence the North Koreans. So the crazier the North Koreans act (up to a point, obviously), the greater the diplomatic rewards for China.

That said, if North Korea collapses of its own accord, or a government (after a coup?) appeals to China, they might consider annexing it. Which could be a gain to the world, but would definitely cause the South Koreans to lose their minds. And ’Puter would then laugh uproariously and say, “Suck it, punks. Hope you had fun bad-mouthing the U.S. of A. all these years.”

But that’s just off the top of my head. I’m sure the Czar, having long studied the issues due to his concern for his outpost at Vladivostok, has a more considered opinion.

Confucius, Œc. Vol.

Don’t ask impertinent questions like that jackass Adept Lu.