Corporate Suicide
Unbelievable. Citigroup just signed off on a plan that will add substantially more uncertainty into an already uncertain market. That is, Citigroup now supports the Democrats’ plan to empower bankruptcy judges to rewrite the terms of borrowers’ mortgages on their primary residences.
What do you think the market for mortgage backed securities is going to look like tomorrow, geniuses? Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac just became more insolvent, as if that’s possible. And anyone left holding mortgage backed securities or derivatives thereof just lost a substantial portion of their asset value.
What’s a mortgage worth if the risk of a deflating housing market, interest rate shock, etc., lies solely with the lender and not the borrower?
If this is what’s going to pass for economic policy from not just the upcoming Obama Administration, but also from the recently-nationalized large commercial banks, then to Hell with them all. ‘Puter’s stocking his bunker.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.