Following up on yesterday’s essay on the Quinnipiac poll of best and worst presidents, the Czar wanted to take the opportunity to provide his rankings. Agree or disagree as you wish, but here are some thoughts on best to worst.

1. Ronald Reagan—This guy inherited a mess, and he not only cleaned it up, but he even managed to convince Americans that being an American was not just a good thing, but a great idea. Whether it was taxes, unemployment, or foreign policy, even his staunchest opponents began to concede that, yeah, Reagan was right. Some of you may not be old enough to remember the vitriol and horrific lies told about Reagan in the first two years of his term, but his critics were savage…and by the end of his term, most of them began to enjoy low unemployment and even lower taxes. America badly needs his optimism, more so now than ever.
2. Dwight Eisenhower—Ike was a vastly better president than people remember. He not only dealt strongly with issues, but was quite welcoming and even helpful in correcting his opponents. Although he could be frustrated with his opposition from time to time, his advice was always respected by Kennedy. Eisenhower managed to clean up a lot of Truman’s economic messes, and he stuck by Nixon even though he didn’t always enjoy him.
3. George W. Bush—History is softening on the legacy of G.W. Bush, but let the Czar save you the time. He was a smart, efficient leader who got things done. Yes, the Czar is not happy with his big spending, or his ridiculous attempts to pacify the Left, but most of the criticisms concerning Bush and his handling of the economic meltdown or Iraq or Katrina or whatever were fabricated by the Gore campaign and endorsed by the media. Although he might be tied with…
4. George H. W. Bush—The original Bush certainly inherited a lot of good things, but it is important to remember that not all the good things came from Reagan. Yes, Reagan helped smash the Soviets, but it was Bush who effectively managed the transformation of Europe in a way even greater than Truman. And his efforts in the Gulf War were added to the Stuffs of Legend. Mistakes? Yes, he made the awful mistake of trusting the Left’s promises, and failed to respond to the reputation-killing Clinton machine’s fabrications. The economy went bad, and he let Clinton award him credit for the bad. We are tying him with his son for this spot.
5. Gerald Ford—Yes: most of your readers will not remember him, but he was a surprisingly adept leader who transitioned us from a pretty sad place to one not so dismal. Ford was never elected vice-president, and he was certainly never elected president: but he was the right man for both jobs each time. When inflation became a major problem, Ford’s programs solved the problem just in time for Carter to take credit for them. Ford was basically the opposite of what popular culture remembers about him.
6. Harry Truman—Sigh. Well, eventually a Democrat would need to come up. Truman was flawed, and a bit myopic. He was a painful liberal who started with the New Deal and wanted to increase it to free healthcare, free housing, and a host of other really bad ideas. But he was essential to starting the civil rights movement because it was the right thing to do (he was a pathetic racist himself). And forget Obama: Truman, more than any other president, inherited a load of crap from his predecessor. A monster war with divided fronts. A bomb issue. Israel and Palestine. A faltering economy. The realization that the Soviet Union was evil. And instead of blaming everybody for it, he got to work. Truman was a rough ride, with a string of bonehead mistakes, but in the end he left things much better than they were. And for a liberal democrat, that’s…a first.
7. John F. Kennedy—Kennedy is not high on this list because most of his presidency was invented by LBJ was a means to push through more liberal bullshit. In reality, and to the chagrin of the Boomers who fellate his memory, Kennedy was a pro-military, small-tax, pro-small business guy who hated unions. Sure, he viewed himself as a celebrity above the law and yes he failed to understand foreign policy. Actually, the Czar considers him a bit of a war-monger. But if he ran today, he would be viewed as a moderate or even an establishment Republican for his conservative views.
8. Bill Clinton—Where do you put this guy? Well, probably about here. You all remember Clinton. Yes, he treated the presidency as a joke, and sure he’s responsible for a lot of the problems in Iraq and Afghanistan today. And yes, he’s a sociopath with no concept of conscience and whose moral compass points to 6:00. But he was smart enough to capitulate to the Republicans, and as a result, millions of people became millionaires. That’s something positive. Beyond that, the Czar has little to offer.
9. Richard Nixon—Actually, Nixon did a lot of good things for America. Unfortunately, the way he trashed the presidency is a black sin that lowers him in our eyes to here. One cannot condemn Obama for today’s faults and ignore the path that Nixon lit for him. So much of the disaster that was the 1970s—the nadir of American culture—begins and ends with this man. He was, for want of a simpler phrase, a progressive Republican. And while he was not creepy or alien like his critics say (and today’s kids believe), he nevertheless fundamentally misunderstood the Presidency of the United States.
10. Jimmy Carter—Carter remains a clueless oaf. Yes, even now, he still thinks he was successful. Carter was a fool, and he remains dodderingly so. He is a small man in most ways sporting a false façade of concern and compassion, who is filled with oily hate for his fellow democrats more than his opponents. He never apologized for his racism, and damningly remains responsible for disco.
11. Lyndon Johnson—Johnson was probably imbalanced. He was vulgar, duplicitous, and ruined our country’s sense of self-reliance. While he genuinely hated poverty—pathologically, rally—his brutish attempts to intimidate Americans into accepting progressive programs is more responsible for our limited financial future than anyone else. Johnson, simply, should never have been president.
12. Barack Obama—Well, no surprise. You can look at the weaknesses written above for each of the previous presidents, and this guy has all of them. But make no mistake: from Reagan at the top down to Johnson, each of these acted for better or worse because they genuinely loved this country and wanted what they thought was best. Barack Obama? Well, it’s pretty clear he doesn’t love this country. Frankly, he’s more annoyed and embarrassed by it than anything, and he seems to radiate a distaste for anyone outside his expensive clique of like-minded academics.

Is he the worst president of all? The Czar, as you know, has lived through all of the presidents and gotten to know many of them. And right now, the Czar is still going to say that James Buchanan was worse than Barack Obama. And for one reason only: Buchanan knew the country was ripping apart—and presumably to its total destruction—and he didn’t give a crap about it. He had no clue what to do.

And while it’s superficially trendy for libertarians to claim that Lincoln was the worst president, make no mistake: the worst offenses cited by libertarians about Lincoln were made perfectly possible by one man: Bucky. Had Buck shown a smidgen of interest in doing his job, Lincoln would have been a very different president.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.