The President is very busy these days.

As the economy proves his policies have prolonged a stagnant economy for longer than the Great Depression, the President announced that he is very working to draw attention to youth sports concussions.

While Europe drifts apart, Russia overruns Ukraine, and the Middle East returns to its powderkeg ways, the President goes to West Point and begs people to give him a bit of break on his foreign policy because it’s a lot harder than anyone said while he was a candidate.

Thanks to an unneeded healthcare overhaul that Obama put in place, millions of Americans are worried they might not be able to afford any coverage anymore for their families; Obama says he wants to close Guantanamo prison before he leaves office.

As most Americans are thoroughly outraged that our own veterans are being corralled into holding pens to await death rather than give them treatment—in the one country where this was never supposed to happen—Obama threatens thousands of jobs with carbon restriction actions that he does not fully understand.

Just so you are aware that he his has dedicated the remaining years of his presidency proving to us that he is just as good a leader as Abraham Lincoln.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.