Dr. J. apologizes for the delay in posting this missive addressed to the Czar but forwarded to Dr. J. from the one and only Uncle Jay:

Dear Dread & Awful.: 

A vast smoke screen, wasn’t it? This whole Polar Votrex (sic.) thing- just a cover-up for when Dr J came to visit earlier this week? 

Lots of cold & snow to drive everyone inside during his arrival… 

Normally Dr. J. takes cabs in Chicago, because it’s a bitch to park an AT-AT.

You guys are going to have to do better at covering your tracks- some enterprising soul was able to snap a pic of The Dr’s arrival downtown… (Although there is some question of the validity of the picture- that figure in the foreground looks suspiciously like Bigfoot in a earlier National Enquirer photo exposé.) 

Best, Uncle Jay

Dear Uncle Jay,

That’s no bigfoot, that’s a Wendigo, but no ordinary Wendigo, it’s ‘Puter after one too many ‘Double Green’s’ (aka Midori and Soylent Green) at the Leaping Peacock.

We had a Gormogon summit to discuss Mandy’s most recent weather control experiment. And by discuss, we mean bitchslapping, as Lady J. and Loki J. were freezing their tails off in New Atlantis due to this little experiment and Dr. J. was not happy for his prize puppies to be shivering outside.

Loki J. likes rocking the ‘Han Solo’ Hoth jacket when the Polar Vortex is weak.

Pictured above is Puter and the Volgi were staggering back to their hotel after a rough night of drinking. So rough that this was snapped in the morning.

Dr. J. had the AT-AT double parked, but fortunately, they do not lend themselves to towing or booting. Chicago’s finest had to suck it up and deal.

Thanks for writing!

Dr. J.

Dr. J.