Tradition is Good

Dr. J.’s classmates still have imprints from days of yore.

Dr. J. and the Lil Medstudent were chatting the Friday night about his day in school. He told Dr. J. he played ‘Jedi’ in P.E. class. ‘Jedi? Seriously? What the heck is that?’

He said, ‘You have two teams, one on each side like dodgeball, and you throw the balls at each other, nothing above the waist. If you get hit you sit down. Then each team has a Jedi, with a noodle, like the one we use at the pool. If the Jedi touches his teammate with the noodle, he can get up and play again. If your Jedi, or everyone gets out, you lose.’

The lightsaber, this is the weapon of a Jedi Knight…now with healing powers. The Lil Medstudent wields the pimptastic purple one, of course!

Dr. J. was pleased that they still subject kids to dodgeball in school. It is a finger in the dike of the wussification of American children. It was no surprise that  the Jedi Academy would have a variant called Jedi. When Dr. J. was a yout’ there was no noodle, and this variant was called Doctor Doctor. The doctor had to risk life and limb to heal folk near the midline.

In addition to Doctor Doctor, Dr. J.’s teachers would offer different dodgeball variants to keep it interesting. There was one where each team had to also protect a bowling pin, and if it was knocked down the round was over. We had a particular favorite where there would be a shifting neutral zone. At times the width of the halfcourt circle, at times extending further, encompasing 50%, 75% or even the entire court.

The shifting neutral zone made things interesting to say the least.

While Dr. J.’s school started with rubber Weltmaster 3000’s, we moved to Nerf soccer balls with only a ban on head shots. While silly, sounding, the Lil Medstudent’s variant keeps him engaged and given the return of the Weltmaster 3000, Dr. J. is not displeased that the target zone has shrunk, given Lil Medstudent’s diminutive stature and prior concussion. Despite the rules, however he has a reputation for the occasional rogue headshot. Dr. J. couldn’t be prouder.

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis. Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.