In Which ‘Puter Writes His Assemblyman: Gun Grabbers Edition

‘Puter finally had opportunity to review Governor Andrew Cuomo’s (D-NY, but then I repeat myself) newly proposed restriction on firearms.  Among Gov. Cuomo’s proposals are the following two: (1) all sales of ammunition will require a background check; and (2) a detachable magazine can hold no more than 10 rounds.  If you care to do so, you may read the New York Times’ almost giddy description of the governor’s proposal here.

Adding insult to injury, along with his proposed sweeping infringements of ‘Puter’s Second Amendment rights, the allegedly Roman Catholic cohabiting-with-a-Food-Network-star governor also proposed expanding women’s access to abortions (which ‘Puter acknowledges is a Constitutional right, regardless of the vacuousness of Roe v. Wade’s legal analysis) at taxpayer expense. As one may surmise, New York City’s Roman Catholic prelate, Timothy Cardinal Dolan, was not amused, issuing this press release almost before Gov. Cuomo’s vapid words ceased echoing on the whitewashed tombs housing Albany’s brood of vipers.

Never mind that New York’s firearms death rate places it 46 out of 50 states (plus the District of Columbia) with a rate of 5.1 gun deaths per 100,000 citizens.  Never mind that New York’s firearms death rate is six times less than league-leading Washington, DC’s, almost half that of neighboring Pennsyltucky and more than half less than that of the national average.  Bring on irrational and confiscatory gun laws, using a national tragedy to cram the legislation through before cooler heads can prevail!

And let’s just ignore the fact that the abortion rate in New York (37.6 abortions per 1,000 women of reproductive age in 2008) is nearly 725 times higher than the firearms death rate. Hell, not only let’s ignore the fact that more than forty percent of pregnancies in New York City end in abortion, let’s subsidize the heck out of abortion so everyone can have one!

But back to ‘Puter. ‘Puter decided to do what ‘Puter does best, and rattle a few cages.  Taking pen in hand keyboard at fingertip, ‘Puter dashed off this quick email to his state assemblyman, Mark Johns (R-135):

Dear Assemblyman Johns:

Do you support or oppose Gov. Cuomo’s proposed call to limit detachable firearm magazines to 7 rounds (from the current 10)?  Do you support or oppose Gov. Cuomo’s proposal to require background checks for ammunition purchases?

The governor’s proposed restrictions are in no way calculated to prevent mass shootings.  These provisions limit my Second Amendment rights without any offsetting benefit, other than simply making legal firearms and ammunition more expensive, which may be the governor’s true motive.

I support a thoughtful review of New York’s gun laws to ensure that firearms are kept from criminals and the mentally ill, but the governor’s  aforementioned proposals are not the least restrictive means of achieving this goal.  The governor would not support restrictions on a woman’s constitutional right to an abortion that were not necessary to achieve a compelling state interest.  Why are my Second Amendment rights in any manner different than a woman’s right to an abortion?

Please do not permit your colleagues to deceive the public with their claims the Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms is limited solely to hunting.  It is not.  The United States Supreme Court in Hellerheld that self-defense was also among the Founders’ primary purposes in writing the amendment.  While a good hunter should need no more than two shots to harvest game, we can certainly think of many, many circumstances in which a homeowner, particularly a homeowner in a poor, crime-ridden neighborhood, may need up to 10 shots to dissuade home invaders.  The current magazine capacity restriction is more than adequate.

I would appreciate your strong opposition to the governor’s proposal, even though I realize that as a Republican in the Assembly such opposition is unlikely to carry the day. It would, however, gladden the hearts of your constituents who are proud, safe and legal gun owners to see someone in the Assembly stand up for us.

Thank you in advance for your response.



‘Puter will let you know, what, if anything, The Hon. Mark Johns has to say on the issue.

In the meantime, if you are a New York resident, please take time to dash off a quick email to your state assemblyman and state senator, regardless of party affiliation.  Let them know the governor’s proposal is ill considered, ineffective and unnecessarily restrictive of our rights.  Even if your assemblyman is Shelley Silver, he should know he has constituents who are watching his actions.

So speak up, New York! Be not afraid! Use your First Amendment right to petition the government for redress of grievances in order to protect your Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms.

About 'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred. He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently. Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet. 'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.