A Warning to Thieves in Suburban NYC

Were there five or six houses on this street not listed as having guns?
It looks like you miscounted. Do you feel lucky, punk? 

Dr. J. took a drive through the News Journal gun registration database the other day, looking to see if he could find armed friends and family living in Rockland, Westchester and or Putnam County listed. They were, interestingly, missing from the database. Dr. J. knows for a fact that these friends and family are armed, and well trained, and furthermore that their guns are registered.

So to any thieves who think a house in the northern NYC suburbs is disarmed, be forewarned, you may be dealing with a false negative and you will be dealt with with extreme prejudice.

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis. Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.