Mailbag – Droid Factory Edition

Operative BG writes in:

Dr. J., 

Is it possible I’ve divined the actual location of Castle Gormogon? 

Dr. J’s prescription shows the castle’s phone number as 888-867-5309, which is apparently located at 2209 Whitten Road, Memphis, TN 38133. 

I’m thinking this might be in error, since, according to Al Gore’s Amazing Internet, that address is identified as “Sears Parts and Repair Center.” 


Operative BG 

Dear BG,

You are correct in your incorrectness. Castle Gormogon can be found as follows:

The Castle travels in time and space, but can be found on the Plateau of Leng, when it appears just outside of the scenic hamlet of Fond-du-Lac, Wisconsin. Take Route 45 North to Kinker Road, and turn right (heading East). This will become Westmoreland Drive (Exit 5). Head North to Castle Road and follow the signs. If you reach WI- 114/10, you have gone too far North. You’ll soon know what that means. Guests of the Castle may park in the rear for free, behind the Hippodrome. One of our Tcho-Tchos will be happy to park your vehicle for you, or at the very least, tear your seats apart with his teeth. If you need help with your bags, feel free to ask, and they will hurl them off the plateau.

Indeed, Uncle Jay describes his trip to the Castle here.

If you need maps, this may help:

OUR Castle Road is not listed. This is as close as you get on Google.

‘A’ denotes the point closest to Castle Road on Google Maps. Apple Maps will reveal the exact location of the Castle, but its sanity was the price it paid. Even then it requires a password only known to our closest minions.

Here is a view right before you descend to Castle Road:
Abandon hope, all ye who enter…

So what is going on in Memphis? Well, we have specialized field offices, all with concomitant front businesses to mask our eldrich ways. 

This is a satellite view of the field office you describe:
Nowhere near Lake Winnebago…
But what goes on there? Well, as you could read it is a Sears Repair Shop specializing in electronics, but in the back, Dr. J. and 2-1B work our magic, specifically with regard to cyborg implantation, our specialty. Despite being a purely cash-pay practice, we are worried about how the Obamacare device-tax will affect our business. We suspect, given the unique nature of our practice, we will weather the storm.
Here are a few examples of our work:
First, 2-1B works on one of our more famous patients:
Just another day on the job…
And a pre-operative mock-up of work planned for our mascot, Hello Kitty:
She has no mouth, not even a cyborg one, and yet she must scream!
Dr. J. hopes this clears things up!
Thanks for writing in…

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis. Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.