Homeless Grifts NY’s Finest

Even though President Obama single-handedly eliminated homelessness by dint of his first election, nevertheless somehow one single solitary homeless guy slipped through.

Now, you can take a position opposite the Czar’s, but in his experience most persistently homeless folks are there by choice. No, we are not kidding. The Czar should not even need to defend this position, but there is a massive backbone of services and facilities that can help homeless people…often at no cost to the taxpayer. You don’t hear about this often because it’s a non-federal government solution, but people who suddenly and shockingly find themselves evicted with no friends or family to turn to and no resources can usually find a place to put themselves and the kids up for the night within hours. And get meals, at least until they can get on their feet.

So it takes some wilfull persistence to remain homeless. And why not? A study conducted in the 1990s showed that some homeless folks can pull up to $14.00 an hour by soliciting funds off liberal passersby—better than minimum wage and all tax free. That can go into a pocket or across the counter at a liquor store with no problem, and no guilt and no religious messaging from a non-taxpayer funded organization. Win-win.

Of course, this is if you’re willing to work in really bad weather and risk sickness. But there is bad weather—when folks give a little more and you can turn a nicer profit—and then there is really bad weather, when you notice the homeless people have all magically found a place to stay.

Of course, there are some really unfortunate folks out there who are so chemically dependent or damaged that they prefer to sleep on heating grates or under bridges. You cannot prevent that, of course, and a lot of those people need treatment.

You might disagree with the Czar on this, but wait—doesn’t life always hand the Czar a convenient example at the right moment? Of course, because he cause cherry picks them.

Oh brother, we thought last week when news hit the wires about a New York police officer, Larry DePrimo, who was moved by the sight of homeless beggar Jeffrey Hillman, who was barefoot. Hey, officer, that shoeless beggar thing is his schtick!

No, DePrimo thought, so he bought the man an expensive pair of boots to help him through the winter. Silly officer, that’s the government’s job, not a private citizen’! But DePrimo has a big heart and equally nice taste, as the boots…did we say they were expensive?

Anyway, an Arizona tourist snapped a photo of the officer kneeling down to present the man with the boots.

And the man is still barefoot. Oh, he hid them somewhere because they were so expensive! Right; you could have hidden them on your damned feet, but evidently Hillman has them squirreled away in the safety deposit box he also sleeps in.

What a load of malarkey. He sold them. And to make the whole eye-rolling situation even more frustrating for homeless apologists, Hillman also is demanding to be compensated for the photograph that the tourist posted online “without permission.” Dude, call your agent! That could be worth big bucks!

We hope Officer DePrimo has learned that a gritty, experienced New York cop can be grifted, too. Maybe he should have given that $100 to his church or to the Salvation Army, where it would be utilized more efficiently. DePrimo could have fed ten really homeless kids for that money and slept better at night.

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About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.