A Break from Island Dweller

Well, reader CC writes in:

Hi Czar,

Or is it theczar? I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now, and only just today, saw your picture. I have one question. Over your lower lip, is that a tooth?

Btw, I really do like the Gormogons. Very insightful, I dig the humor, but I save all my worshipfullnesses and high mucketymuckitudes for His Emperical Grandifererousness, J. Farthingdale Peckerwood the Third.


Have a nice day.

Is the Czar or theCzar? Actually, properly, Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй but the Czar works. Or any of the many honorifics our wise and still-unbeheaded minions bestow upon us.

Depending on the age of the picture in question, it may be a tooth, but likely is someone else’s stuck in our lip. That sort of thing happened a lot in the 1300s, and we do believe GorT took a picture around that era that pops up from time to time here.

Glad you enjoy our site, but good luck curing that Bieber fever with J. Fartingwhale whatever. If the Czar recalls, the J stands for “Pauly Shore worshipper.” As a concession for your faint praise, when our world conquest is complete you will be allowed an extra clementine per week. Please print and save this message as a receipt, otherwise we may forget what bounteous surplus we have offered you in our great kindness.

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.