Why Obama Choked Like Mama Cass on All You Can Eat Ham Sandwich Night

Your non-‘Puter Gormogons have done a marvelous job of providing instant feedback and analysis of this week’s presidential debate, brought to you by the letter “F” and the number “4.”  If you have not done so already, you really ought to scroll down and read Czar and GorT’s posts.
‘Puter, with his teeny, tiny attention span, live Tweeted the debate, providing his real time analysis there.  ‘Puter had such good feedback on his live running commentary, he’s tempted to make it a regular undertaking.  Heck, ‘Puter enjoyed it so much he may live Tweet during this Sunday’s homily, correcting the priest’s errors in real time.

Wednesday, Wednesday. Can’t trust that
day.  Or a ham sandwich, for that matter.

But you haven’t read this far to hear ‘Puter ramble about technology and the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.  You want to hear ‘Puter’s thoughts on the debate.

Well, surprise.  ‘Puter thinks, as every sentient being who watched the debate does, that Mitt Romney won going away.  If it were a prize fight, moderator Jim Lehrer would have been forced to call it in the second round.  It it were Little League, the mercy rule would have been invoked.  President Obama looked unprepared, both for the debate and for the job of the presidency.

More interestingly, Obama looked shocked.  Shocked that anyone — much less Romney — would dare challenge him so forcefully and publicly.  After all, he is the Great and Wise Obama, The One, Captain Hope ‘n’ Change. Obama looked shocked that Romney actually could form coherent arguments, facilely commanding logic and facts to form a vicious verbal weapon, a weapon Romney mercilessly used to administer his epic verbal beatdown of Obama, a beatdown so complete that historians will speak of it as long as the Republic lasts.  As gladdened as ‘Puter’s soul was by Romney’s stellar performance (‘Puter thinks Czar a bit tough on Romney), ‘Puter was most struck by Obama’s shocked bewilderment.

We’re now two days post-debate, so you’ve heard all the explanations Team Obama through its media lackeys rolled out to excuse Obama’s abysmal performance. Obama was tired.  Obama had altitude sickness. Romney lied and it’s not fair. Obama was distracted by his anniversary.  Romney hid Obama’s teleprompter.  MSNBC didn’t steal the satellite feed and dub over Obama’s weak responses, substituting the collective political brilliance of “Reverend” Al Sharpton, Rachel Maddow and Chris Mathews.  the mainstream media’s fawning adoration of Obama left him unpracticed in rebutting difficult challenges.  But none of these explanations, even the ones ‘Puter didn’t make up, explain Obama’s performance.

Obama’s poor performance is explained by one thing and one thing only: Obama’s bedrock assumption and core belief that liberal positions are inerrant and therefore beyond dispute.

Obama clearly did not prepare adequately, if at all.  Leaving aside the fact that Obama and his campaign staff exhibited horrible judgment by enlisting Sen. John “Swiftboat” Kerry (D-Somewhere on Nantucket Sound Aboard His Wife’s $20 Million Yacht), Obama didn’t put in nearly the time Romney did.  That’s a fact.

But why didn’t Obama prepare? Obama didn’t prepare because there was no reason to prepare.  Obama believes with every fiber of his being that liberalism is unquestionably correct.  If you assume that your position is unquestionably correct, proven beyond all doubt and the inerrant word of Gaia rolled into one uber-correct ball of lefty goodness, you must also believe that anyone who disagrees with liberalism is a knuckle-dragging buffoon whom all intelligent people will laugh offstage for uttering a word against prevailing leftist dogma. Folks who disagree with tenets of the liberal faith are gun-and-God-clinging morons, driving their pickups, playing their banjos and sucking down Sonic hotdogs in the vast wasteland between the DC to Boston Corridor and San Francisco and Los Angeles.  Why should liberals take such benighted cretins seriously?  Stupid Deltas.

‘Puter hears your the frothing (and frothy) protestations of his liberal betters echoing off the ivy-covered walls of Academe, blustering forth from Manhattan’s concrete canyons and blaring in Dolby Surround Sound from Los Angeles’ rarefied hilltop air. “Liberals don’t think that way!,” they rant to no one in particular. 

Yes.  Yes, liberals do in fact think this way.  If you watched any of the post-debate roundup, you witnessed liberals’ self-delusion forcing them to explain away their champion’s drubbing as an anomaly, never to occur again.  Chris Mathews ranted and raved.  George Stephanopolous called the debate a tie.  Ed Schultz nearly wet himself in his incoherent rage.  Nothing — nothing — explains Obama’s implosion and his defenders’ reactions other than a discredited world view to which they bitterly cling. 

Liberals can say what they will about us conservatives and our love of God, but God is (intellectually) neither verifiable or falsifiable.  That’s why we believers must have faith, as our limited reason alone offers no proof of His existence. Unfortunately for liberals, their heretical and quasi-religious beliefs are falsifiable, as they discovered (and promptly ignored) as stupid, Mormon, businessman, one-percenter Mitt Romney ripped the liberals’ savior’s still-beating heart from his chest and showed it to him live, in Technicolor, on every major broadcast and cable network in America.

Obama, his campaign staff and his media sycophants watched helplessly as Mitt Romney calmly, nicely and convincingly disproved liberals’ fundamental assumptions.

Romney wants to raise taxes on the middle class.  No, Romney replied, he doesn’t. In fact, Romney promised to the 70 million Americans watching not to raise taxes on the middle class.  To add insult to injury, Romney went on to explain how a reduction in tax rates, coupled with closing loopholes and phasing out deductions and credits over time can actually result in (1) higher effective rates and (2) greater revenue streams. And Obama watched dumbfounded, unable to respond to Romney’s rebuttal, because he had never seriously considered it before.

Romney wants to cut Medicare and slash Social Security.  No, Romney replies, he doesn’t.  Romney explained to the 70 million Americans watching that nothing he would do would affect those already retired or those near retirement. Obama stammered through a lackluster response, mumbling incoherently about his grandmother and old people and Depends until Jim Lehrer put him out of his misery by calling time.

Not only did Romney vivisect Obama’s talking points on Romney-cum-Genghis Khan, he stompled to death Obama’s talking points about himself.

Obama is our most intelligent president ever, and perhaps our greatest orator.  No person who watched that debate can any longer hold the rational belief that Obama is either a brilliant orator or our smartest president ever.  Romney got the best of Obama at every turn, on every issue, and Obama had no response.  Obama had no response because the smartest president ever had never considered the possibility that his beliefs were wrong. Perhaps Obama’s course of study omitted Western Philosophy, in which case he may never have learned that the unexamined life is not worth living, a common problem among those whose only exposure to Socrates was through Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Romney went on for ninety minutes, dashing liberals’ hopes and crushing their deeply held yet disproven beliefs.  Viewers could see the despair, frustration and anger on Obama’s face, roiling just beneath his surface, in danger of exploding into incoherent rage at any time.  Viewers could watch similar behavior among many of the leftie commentariat in the post debate analysis.

The one and only thing that explains both Obama’s piss-poor performance and the Left’s post debate visceral rage is the Left’s core assumption that its beliefs, and only its beliefs, are correct.

America didn’t see an unprepared Obama, or a tired Obama, or even an Obama having an off night.  What America saw was an Obama who watched helplessly as a man of deep conviction and experience charmingly crushed every belief Obama holds dear.  Obama didn’t respond to Romney’s points because he couldn’t.  Romney had so thoroughly discredited Obama’s world view Obama had no remaining frame of reference within which to form a response, so he didn’t.

Liberals aren’t mad because Obama failed miserably at the debate.  Liberals are mad because, whether they know it or not, their world view is being discredited by facts and events both at home and world wide as they look on helplessly.

Compassionate, socialist European welfare states teeter on the verge of collapse, weighed down by adherence to discredited leftist doctrine. Spain, France, Italy, Portugal, Ireland.  Can Germany be far behind?

The Middle East is a far more dangerous place now than it was when BUSHITLERBURTON!!1!one!! left office thanks to America’s feckless, lickspittle diplomacy. Iran is on the verge of nuclear weapons.  Israel is soon to launch a (justified) war. Egypt, Libya, Syria and Iraq loathe us, and our only regional ally Israel can’t trust us.

Our economy stubbornly sits just this side of a double dip recession (despite government agencies’ lies in service of Obama) because liberal economists are just smart enough to understand one part of Keynesian economics: the government should spend like drunken sailors on shore leave to get us out of this mess.  They ignore Keynes’ other admonition: pay back the debt incurred in bad times when times are good.

Reality turned President Obama into a bumbling idiot before a national audience on Wednesday.  Mitt Romney was merely the conduit through which reality accomplished its task.

And that, friends, is the real debate takeaway.

About 'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred. He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently. Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet. 'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.