No. Not Kidding.

Ms. Brigid writes your Czar:

A hint on what to get me. I know—I can be tough to shop for. But this time around, I’m making it easy on you.

Instead of falling back on a gift card—or cash—you can give to my Obama 2012 fundraising page.

It’s sure to please, and it’s a cause that we can all appreciate. Here’s a link to my event registry page.

And thanks!

But wait, it gets weirder! Because Mr. Schwartz—possibly of some relation—wrote in shortly thereafter:

My apologies. I simply didn’t believe it was real….

What mischief can ensue?

And to cap it off, longtime Gormogon operative MC writes in:

Obama wants your left nut for his reelection campaign.

Well, what to make of all this. Imagine that conference room discussion.

The President sits back in his chair and sighs, slowly. “Let me get this straight. We started a webpage for people to snitch on anyone spreading material that made me look bad. That blew up in our faces. We then tried a Twitter account asking various questions about what people love about me. What people like about Obamacare. Why they should vote for me in the fall. I understand we got about 12 serious answers, and about ten million jerk comments that made me look like a jackass. We tried to wow them with a promise that we would support gay marriage only if it does not actually happen. I recall that was bad for me. Then we promised a bunch of illegal alien kids an opportunity to work in the worst unemployment mess in decades. This makes me look like a chump to anyone who can do simple math.”

The men in the room nod their heads eagerly.

“And now you suggest that the public should use us as a goddamned wedding registry site in order to raise at best a couple thousands dollars from spoiled morons who think their loved ones can’t tell the difference between voting Democrat and buying a striped plastic trivet at Ikea? I like it!

When the final ashes of the Obama defeat are picked through for mementos, certainly this idea will be one of the dumber ideas in campaign history. This is beyond desperation: this like putting Joe Biden in charge of something and being surprised at what results.

Why the hell are we surprised by anything he does anymore?

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.