Fast And Furious Spin - The Gormogons

As reported today via multiple news outlets:

Democrats went on the offensive Thursday over the contempt proceedings against Attorney General Eric Holder, with the White House calling the campaign a “fishing expedition” and Nancy Pelosi accusing Republicans of targeting Holder because of his department’s crackdown on state voter ID laws.

Wow. Ok, the Department of Justice is cracking down on state voter ID laws? How? By having states require a valid photo identification when someone wants to vote? Or maybe by investigating voter intimidation incidents where people from the Department of Justice believe there is sufficient evidence?

Reports go on to say:

Asked about Pelosi’s claim, Carney said he could not “divine” Republicans’ motivation for pursuing the contempt case against Holder. But he adamantly defended both Holder and President Obama for his decision to assert executive privilege over the documents Republicans are seeking.

Again, more evidence that Carney and/or this administration is coming up short on the IQ yardstick. I’ll make it simple for Mr. Carney and “divine” the Republicans’ motivation for pursuing the contempt case: they want the AG and the Department of Justice to comply with a legal, federal subpoena. Is that so hard to understand? It was repeated by many Republicans in the hearing yesterday – provide the requested documents, avoid the contempt vote.

And he is defending the executive privilege claim in a potential admission of involvement in Fast and Furious decision making or fallout mitigation efforts.

GorT

GorT is an eight-foot-tall robot from the 51ˢᵗ Century who routinely time-travels to steal expensive technology from the future and return it to the past for retroinvention. The profits from this pay all the Gormogons’ bills, including subsidizing this website. Some of the products he has introduced from the future include oven mitts, the Guinness widget, Oxy-Clean, and Dr. Pepper. Due to his immense cybernetic brain, GorT is able to produce a post in 0.023 seconds and research it in even less time. Only ’Puter spends less time on research. GorT speaks entirely in zeros and ones, but occasionally throws in a ڭ to annoy the Volgi. He is a massive proponent of science, technology, and energy development, and enjoys nothing more than taking the Czar’s more interesting scientific theories, going into the past, publishing them as his own, and then returning to take credit for them. He is the only Gormogon who is capable of doing math. Possessed of incredible strength, he understands the awesome responsibility that follows and only uses it to hurt people.