Illinois Primary Today

Illinois votes today, and for the first time in a very long while, the rest of Republican America gives a crap what Illinois thinks about anything.

If Romney wins, as is expected, it will largely seal his place for the nomination and Santorum is pretty much done except for stubborn pouting. If Santorum wins, a brokered convention goes from theoretical possibility to very real consideration, and non-Romney fans across the country will high-five. Neither Gingrich nor Paul will factor much in the Land of Lincoln. Choosing your next nominee is not a job Illinois voters wanted.

Localy, the Democratic-run media is beside itself trying to figure this all out. Santorum has a lot of local editorial and political writers up in a tizzy over the possibility he could win. You know what happens if a Catholic gets elected—he takes his orders from the Pope, which is why we never, ever had a Catholic president in our country’s history. No, the Democrats keep hoping that another Kennedy comes along instead.

And they really want Romney to win, because there is a crazy perception that Romney will last only seconds in a battle against Obama. Sheesh, if Romney clinches the nomination and starts the negative campaign blitz against Obama the way he is in Illinois against Rick Santorum, Obama might not know what hit him. The Czar’s dacha is receiving about four phone calls a day from Romney robocallers reciting Santorum’s perfidies.

On the other hand, Romney could very simply list all of Obama’s accomplishments as President…that alone could alienate enough people. Fast and Furious, the HHS letter, the Republican-healthcare-killed-my-mother lie, and Iran, Iran, Iran. Or, if you want to take the Czar’s older suggestion, simply show Mmm Mmm Mmm, Barack Hussein Obama as a commecial, with a fade to black, overlaid with red letters: Never Again. That is sweet success.

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.