Inside the toddler’s brain…

All of your Gormogons were toddlers once (and some would posit that ‘Puter still is one), and all of your Gormogons have experienced the joy that is raising toddlers. Their sense of wonder and curiosity, their innocence, and their innate ability to prevent you from having a complete conversation with your spouse, or any human being who is on the other side of a telephone while they are awake.

Well, Dr. J. has spent the last week putting the finishing touches on an illustrated guide to the regions of the brain responsible for those toddler-tastic behaviors that we all know and love. He has to thank Melissa Balmain for her medical art skills.

If you are in need of stereotactic ablations of any specific sites, please bring the lil buggers to the Castle on Tuesdays and Wednedays for consultations. As this isn’t covered by insurance, nor will it be covered by Guv’mint-healthcare, please bring cash, check, livestock, pies or rare earth metals as payment. We are also experimenting with temporary nerve blocks, as a replacement for particle beam bombardment, to limp toddlers through until the brain normalizes, but we charge double for that. 2-1B and FX-7’s erbium-tungsten ion power-supplies are expensive to maintain.

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis.Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.

Comments are closed.