Uh-huh. So Dr. Oz warns that certain brands of apple juice contain dangerously high levels of arsenic. FDA sends him a nasty note back that his researchers evidently do not know that organic arsenic is safe, and that no apple juices on the market contain even a trace of inorganic arsenic (the bad kind). Meaning: Dr. Oz does not understand the basic difference between organic and inorganic chemistry. [Update: see also here.]

What a surprise. Dr. Oz, notorious in some circles for spouting off all sorts of New Age nonsense as medical science, routinely refuses to have skeptics or critics on his program. With Dr. Oz, whatever he says goes. Recently, he had a skeptic on his program allegedly wail on him for his lack of intellect; we won’t know, because the televised version was edited down to a short segment in which all the leg-sweeping was edited out.

Here is how to tell if your television personality is a moron, quack, or oddball who should be left far away: is this person a friend of Oprah? If the answer is yes, then you should avoid the person. Oprah has long associated herself with dangerous and reckless non-thinkers like Dr. Phil, Deepak Choprah, and Rhonda Byrne, all of whom reassure her that she is balanced and intellectual and will be beautiful forever, and in return get lucrative contracts and promotions. Dr. Mehmet Öz is no exception, having advocated acupuncture, homeopathy, Reiki, and personally believes that humans are actually beings of pure energy and light. He has not explained how apple juice arsenic could harm light, but that of course is a question better left for, you know, real scientists.

This is a guy whom many people trust to have his hands deep in their chest. We recommend you stick with Dr. J.

In all fairness, the Czar feels compelled to admit that he was once very nearly run over by Oprah Winfrey at the corner of Randolph and Franklin in Chicago, when she failed to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk crossing with the light. She was adamant in making a right-turn-on-red in her astonishingly awesome white BMW.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.