While my guitar gently weeps…

New Atlantis played host to Federal Agents this week as they performed a daring raid on Gibson Guitar a purveyor of the finest guitars in the world. The reason for the raid was that the Feds feared that Gibson was building guitars with illegally harvested hardwood.


Back in 2009, they were raided on suspicion of crafting guitar necks out of ebony clandestinely smuggled out of Madagascar in the alimentary canals of human mules or some such nonsense. As best as Dr. J. can determine, the Feds did not find anything worth pursuing.

This week, the raid was to compel Gibson to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that their new hardwoods from India were obtained with, not only perfect t-crossing and i-dotting, but absurdly, with respect to Indian law.

Per Henry Juszkiewicz, CEO of Gibson:
“The Federal Department of Justice in Washington, D.C. has suggested that the use of wood from India that is not finished by Indian workers is illegal, not because of U.S. law, but because it is the Justice Department’s interpretation of a law in India. (If the same wood from the same tree was finished by Indian workers, the material would be legal.) This action was taken without the support and consent of the government in India.”
(Emphasis added by Dr. J.)

Yes, you read it correctly folks, the U.S. Department of Justice is now in the business of enforcing its interpretation of Indian Law. This is nothing less than harassment of a successful American business that is headquartered in a red state. Gibson relocated its headquarters from Michigan in the 1990s. Dr. J. didn’t realize that it was in the purview of the Justice Department to enforce other nation’s protectionist trade policies while ignoring American crimes and laws whole cloth, or for that matter to have Interior act as its proxy in such matters.

For example, the Department of Justice freely admits that they are ignoring sections of the Defense of Marriage Act. In addition, Holder’s Department of Justice dropped the charges in the Philadelphia voter intimidation case.

So the take away message is that the Obama administration will come after you if you live in a red state to make sure you purchase the right wood (TN), don’t kill any Grizzly Bears who are trying to eat you (ID), and via state wildlife agents enforcing Federal edicts, make sure you don’t rescue any woodpeckers (VA).

It is clear that the executive branch has its priorities mixed up, and when it comes to law enforcement, that dangerous for any free Republic.

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis.Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.

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