Mailbag – Will the real Dr. J. please stand up?

Dr. J. is back from his biennial hajj-al-inlaaws in New England and New York. Dr. J., Mrs. Dr. J., the lil resident and lil med student took in some of the sights in NYC, but Dr. J. mostly relaxed poolside and caught up with the direct and the extended family and enjoyed family dynamics that have nothing to do with him.

For any cousins-in-laws who forgot to ask Dr. J., yes, Dr. J. is a ‘real doctor’ (defined as completed medical school, residency and fellowship) now and has been one for several years including the time overlapping a few of these biennial hajj’s. SIGH.

Nevertheless, right before Dr. J. went on vacation, he received a couple of missives that he didn’t have time to answer.
First from our illustrious Myrmidon Wrangler, DT:

I read a number of medical blogs, just because they’re interesting. Occasionally I see someone comment as “Dr. J”. Is that you? If not, should we release the hounds on the imposter?


Dear DT:

As best I can tell, there are 3 Dr. Js of consequence roaming teh interwebs.
The first Dr. J is the one you speak of. As you can tell, his blogger profile is incomplete and also not Dr. J.’s. He is, at present, only a medical blog fan. He seems to know what he’s talking about, albeit without the elegant prose of your Dr. J. (it’s and its aside) thus he is of no consequence and he has done nothing to draw the Eye of Sauron and the hellfire of your Myrmidons upon him.
He can be readily discerned from your Dr. J. as he is ‘Dr. J’ without a period. Your Dr. J. has a period after the J which is readily apparent on his blogger profile.
The third Dr. J. is the one and only Julius Erving, the original Dr. J. Your Dr. J. has fond memories of watching Erving play for the 76ers, and Dr. J. actually met Mr. Erving in Barcelona in the Summer of ’92. In addition to scoring 30,026 points (29,997 and 29,998 were scored in more spectacular fashion than 29,999 and 30,000), earning the MVP in the NBA and ABA, and a ring in 1983, his other notable accomplishment, which is THE true benchmark of NBA greatness is that he starred in a crappy movie. Yes, Dr. J. is talking about, ‘The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh.’ See these clips for some cinematic Dr. Jness:

Dr. J. hopes that this information clarifies the Dr. J. situation.
Now, for a couple of letters from operatives of the distaff persuasion, writing in regarding Dr. J.’s recent commentary regarding HHS regulations mandating free contraception for all women.
Operative JAB struck drew first blood, her post edited slightly to maintain a PG-13 rating:

Dear Dr. J.:

I would like to offer a complimentary theory to your “Birth Control” post.

Of course it is right and natural for HHS to put in place a policy to make birth control “free” for all American women. Why wouldn’t they?

I mean we are obviously a nation replete with females who are TOO DANGED DUMB to buy our own [redacted adult novelties]?

And we’re way [trampy] too. I mean if some handsome swain (or a not-so-handsome one with the right quantity of booze) comes a courting on Saturday night, just because we’re, ahem, under stocked… [ed. Ellipsis] well that won’t stop us from commencing to, ahem, get it on.

That surely must be the case for 99.9% of all us American girls—we’re stupid. We NEEEED Auntie Kathleen Sibelius to help us. Maybe next they could cut out the middle man and just send handy economy sized boxes of [redacted adult novelties] to the home of every single one of us of child-bearing age? Just to be safe.

Yours from the Doublewide, JAB

PS: I forgot to write back the last time regarding your preference for the sour mash vs. bourbon. My brother gave me a bottle of barrel-aged Jack for Christmas last year. You should try it!

Operative MBE also chimes in:

Good Sir Dr. J,

just wanted to pass on some email/comment/applause for your birth control post. Spot on, sir. There’s very little evidence that even says that a large number of women who “need” – airquotes, of course, because need is not a true need is this case; one does not “need” contraception unless one has an unstoppable “need” for sex, which is in and of itself a subjective need and thus not a need anyway – birth control are unable to get it, and at an incredibly low price. Hello generic drugs, hello Wal-Mart, or goodness sakes forbid, hello abstinence. Seriously. I pay out my teeth for basic, non-generic, pharmaceuticals, but I don’t think whatsoever in-any-way-shape-or-form that I’m entitled to them. Especially not for free! Absolutely nonsense. But yes, your last paragraph is exactly it: there are some *cough silly progressives cough* who are simply going to use this as a stepping stone to beg, plead, and grovel – but not on their knees, for they can’t sacrifice that much – for free drugs for everyone, weee!

And suffice to say, a well-medicated at little-apparent-cost society is certain to doom us all to being a poor, fraught society with less mental stability than can maintain a nation.

-The Ever-Snarky, Well-Intentioned Though A Bit Wordy,


PostScript: I’m not sure we’ve ever communicated – you’re kinda new, right? Or perhaps I’m wrong? – but I do enjoy the Gormogons. Y’all are all fantastic folk, as evidenced by your twitter feed, which sparkles with snark and snappy snippets of sass.

Thank you both. Dr. J. appreciates the positive sentiment and the appreciation that women of intelligence and means are insulted with the notion that they need government assistance to underwrite their contraceptive needs. It is one thing for those without means to obtain assistance (of which there is plenty that is not federally funded), but for there to be no means test makes no fiscal sense.

While Dr. J. was out of town, the gang at National Review Online picked up the baton with a lead editorial and a follow up column by author Deroy Murdock (ed. Deroy, love the Obamaa+, btw).

This covers the mailbag for now.

Thanks for writing in!

About Dr. J.

Dr. J. was born the son of a New Atlantean sharecropper who cornered the market on notoriously delicious seaweed Himanthalia elongata (popularly known as Thongweed). With his newly minted seaweed fortune, Mr. J. the Elder sent his son to attend the Academy of Sorcery, Alchemy and Surgery where the good doctor apprenticed with the finest sorcerer surgeons in New Atlantis. Dr. J.'s areas of expertise grew to include bleeding, cutting for stone, trephination, medical divination with outstanding spatial and temporal resolution, cybernetic sorcery and medicinal alchemy. When King Orin of Atlantis fell ill with the Ick, Dr. J. stepped in with an elixir he devised from a combination of minerals, herbs and saps. Curing the king, Dr. J. gained significant notoriety which afforded him the luxury of time to devote himself to his side hobbies which include porpoise racing, the study of supply-side economics, cooking and raising his lovely merchildren alongside his lovely bride the archconservative Mrs. Dr. J.