MH, whose loyalty will surely see him as sole ruler of the Canadianan provinces, brings you news that you just do not get here in the US. And indeed, this is a story the Czar knew nothing about. See why our readership is so great? And yes, if our sole reader in Croatia decides to write in as well, we would be more than happy to report that Stajic’s goat is pregnant with twins, or whatever passes for news there now.

Mighty Czar,

My apologies for the lack of Canuckian correspondence. I’ll rationalize this indefensible lapse with the words of the Right Honourable British PM Harold Macmillan: Events, dear boy, events (personal of course, not those of state).

Though I suspect it is indeed probably more accurate to say that it’s world events which have led to my recent silence. What more can be said that hasn’t already been about a teen-slaughtering psychopath, self-entitled rioting hoodlums, and the impending economic doom of Western Civilization? The tectonic plates of state financial obligation, demographic reality and societal decay continue to grind, inevitably producing the entirely predictable violent quakes and quivers (if only non-metaphorical seismology could be so simple), resulting in the even more predictable aspersions projected upon the political right by the lunatic left.

But these things tend to depress, and since the noble Gormogons continue to ably cover these topics, your Canadian correspondent has decided to bring you revolutionary republicans some heartening news from the Great White North. After decades of wandering in post modern, de-monarchized purgatory, our Conservative government has decided to throw a little red meat to the ravenous base and symbolically restore our military to its glorious roots.

Gormogons Spotlight On: CanadaBeing a throwback, Neanderthal, Red Ensign type of dude, this is most pleasing, but as an NP editorial states, style must not replace substance, and it will take some time and much funding to fix the decades of neglect our military has been subjected to by past federal governments. Canada’s economy is in better shape than many in the West, but we share the same financial inevitabilities, so it remains to be seen whether our federal government has the will to cut programs it should never have been funding, and to start funding programs it should never have been cutting. But it’s a start. And one that seems to please most veterans and active members. So I’ll check it off as a small win for those who recognize that history does not begin on the date of their own birth.

And of course, another nice bonus from this development is that certain ‘progressive’ types have finally managed to discover a form of government spending they deem wasteful. The lamentations of the women have never sounded so sweet.

As always, best regards.


The Czar is glad about this news about Canada. Someone has to protect us from China.

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.