From AP:

The rapid growth of smartphones and electronic tablets is making the Internet the destination of choice for consumers looking for news, a report released Monday said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa—” quoth the Main Stream Media, “Smart phones? Tablets? Guys, we don’t even get computers, yet.”

Anyway, for those who think these things spell the eventual death knell for the over-stayed Main Stream Media, two things: (a) The same report confirms that television, newspapers, radio, and news magazines lost audiences while Internet-based sources increased by a whopping 17%—proving that Americans want real news after all, and (b) you’re absolutely freaking right.

The only thing that still beats Internet news readership (which possibly now leans conservative) is local television news…although the same report speculated that Internet news will soon surpass that, as well.

Good riddance, the Czar says. Seems he cannot watch a television news broadcast or read a newspaper account without leaping to his feet and screaming “You lying brigands! Dastardly reprobates!” Ask Mandarin; it scares the hell out of him every time we do it.

Remember, unless you read this somewhere else already, you heard it here first!

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.