Yeah, This Guy Gets Us

Yes, yes he does. Welcome to the roll, Professor Mondo.

And the Czar aperceyveth wel by certeyne evydences that our honeste webespace lakketh a goode quantitie of Myddel Englysshe. And sith by cause as the Czar stille speketh it, now wol he preie mekely that this poste be enow to rechen quota. Anoon everichon understondeth wel. Forget not thys, or in our rage we shal despoile the heddes fro the douters.

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.