Your Gormogons met in plenary session in the rumpus room last evening to debate and decide a pressing issue: whether to waive the well-known Rule of Three. That is, a joke should be retired from The Gormogons’ lexicon after three uses.
The debate was fast and furious, and Dat Ho had a difficult time recording minutes, mostly due to the fact that Mandarin kept disassembling and reassembling Dat Ho in whimsical fashion, using his Antient Farr Easte Magick (TM).
‘Puter did manage to save the portion of the minutes containing the approved resolution, which mercifully omits all discussion of sandblasting the Castle’s mineral baths because of the unidentified substances adhering to the walls after ‘Puter’s Come As You Are Hottub Party. If you didn’t get your invitation, it must have been lost in the mail. Really. ‘Puter totally invited you.
Here’s the text:
At a meeting of The Gormogons held 13 Cheshvan 5771 in The Castle, County of Montogmery, State of Bliss, the Gormogons governing body, the Assembled Multitude, took the following action on unanimous consent:
WHEREAS, the Rule of Three is mandated by the Codex Gormogonicum, to be followed upon pain of expulsion; and
WHEREAS, ‘Puter Gormogon has moved the Assembled Multitude to amend the Rule of Three to permit him to continue using “as a karate expert” at odd and random times during his ramblings; and
WHEREAS, Czar finds the meme so danged funny he routinely loses bladder control, not otherwise induced by drunkenness or anti-malarial drugs; and
WHEREAS, Jimmy McMillen, head of the Rent Is Too Damned High Party has the baddest-ass facial hair Your Volgi has seen in the last millenium (excepting his, of course); and
WHEREAS, Mandarin was too distracted by disassembling and reassembling Dat Ho to care about the business before the Assembled Multitude; and
WHEREAS, GorT stated in response to the request 01001011 01100001 01010010 01100001 01010100 01100101 00100000 01000101 01111000 01010000 01100101 01010010 01110100; and
WHEREAS, ‘Puter argued that Jesus Himself was a founding member of The Rent Is Too Damned High Party as a result of his parents being refused service at the Inn and his resultant birth in a manger, because THE RENT WAS TOO DAMNED HIGH; and
WHEREAS, Your Volgi, who masqueraded as Kaspar and was therefore present shortly after Our Lord’s birth provided eyewitness confirmation of ‘Puter’s assertion; and
WHEREAS, ‘Puter provided the Assembled Multitude photographic proof that Jesus Himself was in fact a karate expert (provided above);
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT:
RESOLVED, that the Assembled Multitude hereby amends the Codex Gormogonicum to permit ‘Puter to utilize the meme “as a karate expert” in a manner that would otherwise violate the Rule of Three.
The remainder of the text was lost to history because of the unfortunate fire started when Czar spilled his curacao and kerosene on Mandarin’s joss stick embers.
So, look forward to the continuation, albeit with discretion, of the “as a karate expert” meme.