Say, did you know that there has been an official military skirmish between North Korea and South Korea?

Did you know it is escalating?

Clashes between the two countries are not uncommon, but there has been an uneasy cease fire for years now. On Tuesday, North Korea accused the South of encroaching on its maritime border—not true, but North Korea ignores international definitions of maritime borders—and sent a warship to confront the South Korean navy…who reduced the North Korean warship to a burning plank of wood in minutes.

Couldn’t the President just send a video clip instead?North Korea has sent additional warships to confront the South, but no word yet on how this is being handled by the South Korean Navy, other than reports that the South is enriching its own forces in the area.

Sigh. How inconvenient. Here the President is so busy and all with pushing healthcare that he is now taking on the responsibilities of his increasingly useless Congress…to the point that he can only send a brief and awkward video clip to Berlin to commemorate the fall of the Berlin Wall, whereas every other nation on earth was represented by its respective President or Prime Minister. Okay, so now we have to stop all this to fly over to the region and kick start some diplomatic talks?

Couldn’t he just send a video clip instead? It’s bad enough he had to cut short his Tribal Nations Bake Sale to talk about an act of war committed by a known enemy against the troops at Fort Hood. The other day, he had to work until almost 6:30 at night!

The Czar is concerned that if all this outside crap keeps interrupting, it may be a long time before the President can show up on a television talk show, pick-up game of one-on-one, mall opening, or grade school talent night. All this domestic chaos and these foreign policy challenges are eating into his day. Isn’t he supposed to have some czar or two who can handle all that executive crap?

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.