You know, the Czar is getting annoyed with allegations that puts up some pretty obscene bar tabs, and that he does some pretty serious damage each night because of it.

On a hunch, the Czar decided to see whether he is as bad as that. On another opportunity in which ‘Puter chewed through his restraint collar, jumped the fence and sprinted down the road, the Czar was nominated to pursue him and bring him back.

The bad news is the Czar made it no further than the Leaping Peacock on Ambergris Road, about 200 yards from the Castle. The good news is that there was ‘Puter, at a table near the window.

Perfect. Not only did the Czar uphold his promise to find the Geep before the latter bit somebody important, but the Czar had an opportunity to request separate checks. The Czar snagged both receipts. Now, look carefully at the receipts below (click to enlarge); and you decide: who rang up the bigger tab? Eh? Eh? Who was it?

Yup. Thought so. NOT the Czar. So no more of these accusations that the Czar is insanely drunk.

The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.