Hippies, Eugenics and Consistency

Progressivism's patron siant advocated killing undesirables.In today’s WSJ, Bobby White reports on Auburn, California’s recent conundrum. The inventor of the transistor and Nobel laureate William B. Shockley’s widow recently died, leaving Auburn 28 acres to be used as a park with the only requirement being that the park be named in honor of the aforementioned Mr. Shockley. Nice gesture, right? Wrong, according to California’s self-appointed arbiters of morality. You see, Mr. Shockley, in addition to inventing the transistor, was a eugenicist.

‘Puter agrees with the dirty, nasty hippies that eugenics is a great moral evil. However, ‘Puter doubts the good faith of the filthy, stinking hippies. To show consistency, ‘Puter expects the hippies to also call on California to remove all mention of Democratic president Woodrow Wilson and Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger, ardent supporters of eugenics. Once the hippies have run Planned Parenthood out of California and scrubbed every trace of our twenty-eighth president from the history books, ‘Puter will believe the lefties’ feigned outrage on this issue.

For a great discussion of progressivism’s (read, liberalism) long-lived and shameful support of eugenics, see Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism, now in paperback.

About 'Puter

Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this. ’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies. The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig. His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred. He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently. Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet. 'Puter suggests the Czar suck it.