Health Care In A Nutshell
Regular readers know that ‘Puter thinks health care is not a right. ‘Puter further defies you to show him where in the Constitution “health care” is mentioned, let alone “privacy” or “abortion.” But, back on point, ‘Puter does not think there is a debate that it is desirable for the greatest number of Americans to have the best health care available.
The fighting and screaming and craziness surrounding this fustercluck called ObamaCare revolves around two issues: (1) who provides the health care and (2) how is health care paid for.
ObamaCare will result in health care (1) provided by the government through private crowd-out and (2) paid for by taxpayers. Americans instinctively know this and want to discuss it before signing on. Democrats, in an oddly tone deaf manner (or a sign of the recognized inherent weakness of their position) refuse to discuss the matter. Additionally, the Democrats insist that anyone who disagrees with ObamaCare is unpatriotic, unAmerican or crazy.
Not exactly a plan for victory.
Always right, unless he isn’t, the infallible Ghettoputer F. X. Gormogons claims to be an in-law of the Volgi, although no one really believes this.
’Puter carefully follows economic and financial trends, legal affairs, and serves as the Gormogons’ financial and legal advisor. He successfully defended us against a lawsuit from a liquor distributor worth hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid deliveries of bootleg shandies.
The Geep has an IQ so high it is untestable and attempts to measure it have resulted in dangerously unstable results as well as injuries to researchers. Coincidentally, he publishes intelligence tests as a side gig.
His sarcasm is so highly developed it borders on the psychic, and he is often able to insult a person even before meeting them. ’Puter enjoys hunting small game with 000 slugs and punt guns, correcting homilies in real time at Mass, and undermining unions. ’Puter likes to wear a hockey mask and carry an axe into public campgrounds, where he bursts into people’s tents and screams. As you might expect, he has been shot several times but remains completely undeterred.
He assures us that his obsessive fawning over news stories involving women teachers sleeping with young students is not Freudian in any way, although he admits something similar once happened to him. Uniquely, ’Puter is unable to speak, read, or write Russian, but he is able to sing it fluently.
Geep joined the order in the mid-1980s. He arrived at the Castle door with dozens of steamer trunks and an inarticulate hissing creature of astonishingly low intelligence he calls “Sleestak.” Ghettoputer appears to make his wishes known to Sleestak, although no one is sure whether this is the result of complex sign language, expert body posture reading, or simply beating Sleestak with a rubber mallet.
‘Puter suggests the Czar suck it.