Shoulda Seen It Coming
As readers here know, the Great Swine Flu Pandemic of 2009 is a media invention. Again, to put this in perspective, 65 Americans have been hospitalized since Friday last, and none have died.
Read this and think: since Friday last, based on national averages, 395 Americans have died of the common flu, and 2,740 have been hospitalized for the same. So here is the math: for each American who develops swine flu, as of right now, six Americans die of the plain old flu. For each American who is diagnosed with swine flu, 42 are hospitalized with regular flu. Swine flu is not a national priority, except that the media has decreed it thus.
After all, they were largely responsible for the hysteria of many other non-events in America, such as Legionnaire’s Disease, Ebola, Hanta, Flesh-Eating Necrosis, Bird Flu, SARS, Mad Cow, and the West Nile viri and/or diseases. Yes, real people died of these, and we are sorry for it. But only a small number of folks. Yet the media, you may recall, advised immediate panic, and suggested face masks, rapid immunizations (which depleted supplies needlessly), and stockpiling of goods. For this is clearly The End.
Of course, none of this common sense matters in the Age of Obama, for the POTUS has (you guess it) asked Congress for $1.5 billion to fight this disease. He is obviously unaware of the 50 million Tamiflu kits that have been stockpiled to treat what is currently 65 cases. As of right now, the President has allocated $23,076,923 for each sick person, many of whom are recovering without any treatment whatsoever, and the rest are responding to conventional treatment.
So what will this money do? Well, some of it is being spent coming up with a better name. SecDHS Janet Napolitano (who so far has managed to avoid blaming Canada or Veterans for the illness) and SecAg Tom Vilsack are suggesting the merrier H1N1 flu (a lot of thought went into this). Because we would not want the Swines to hate Americans the way they hated Bush.
Another portion of the cash will go to finding a vaccine, so that no one is inconvenienced by a disease so evil that even infected teenagers recover on their own with what the article frighteningly describes as “sniffles.”
And of course the vast remainder of the cash will simply disappear, as it has with much of the Obama administration’s use of taxpayer money.
The Czar would like to start a rumor that POTUS Obama was heard to say, “Look—the press has been very good to me for no reason, so I thought it was time to return the favor and scare the bejeezus out of taxpayers into watching the news.”
Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй. The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago. He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.