|Diane! You fool!|
Look, the Czar perfectly understands the dangers of distracted drivingsending a lengthy text messageeven urgent ones like
i no whr the restrnt is but what time z r rsrv8tion i cant find prkg & will b l8 4 puters d&d gamewhile hurtling at 60 miles per hour on a crowded stop-and-go roadway is pretty stupid. Like reading a book while driving stupid. The Czar supports laws that assess big-ass fines for blatantly reckless driving.
So Progressives think that if people like that law, theyre gonna love the next one. And now there is talk that texting while walking is potentially dangerous as well.
Also sprach a study from the University of Washington (texters refer to it as UDub) which conducted a study on pedestrian activities in Seattle. It seems that walking while texting results in people plowing at high speed into school buses, bursting into flame, or pushing kindergartens off cliffs. Or something.
Frankly, the study does not actually connect any dots like that: the authors evidently do, saying that if people walking while texting take longer to cross the street, and car-pedestrian collisions are quite high, then laws should be passed to outlaw texting while walking, in a case of post hoc ergo propter hoc non sequitur logic so bad that one could easily doubt whether the authors should be conducting any sort of scientific study whatsoever.
The reality is that life has always been dangerous for pedestrians. Long before there were cell phoneswhich the Czar recalls well but is aware that anyone in the social sciences probably does notpedestrians got hurt all the time, walking into glass doors and windows, falling into open manholes or construction pits, or stepping off a curb into trafficwhile rummaging through purses, picking finger nails, setting a wrist watch, or counting money, or conducting thousands of other little actions.
Indeed, the study faults people not just texting while walking, but listening to music, walking with pets on leashes, or talking to others. No, the study does not list walking while chewing gum, but this must be a catastrophic oversight of the obvious on behalf of this shoddy study.
Evidently, walking while doing anythingeven evidently walkingis dangerous and deadly to the authors, so much so that perhaps we need more legislation.
Hey, geniuses, maybe its walking thats the real danger here. Perhaps we should simply sit in our ivory tower offices tapping at a computer all day like you. If you feel walking while talking, listening to music, or yeseven sending a text messgeis so lethal, perhaps you want to leave that danger to us real people.
Give it a rest. Literally.