Fare Thee Well, 2011; And Get Thee Lost

The Czar will not laud 2011. For many personal reasons too dark and dank to list on this happy site, it really was a lousy year for him and his family, and nearly all of his friends and relations. Too many wakes and funerals, too many changes of plans, too many acquaintances suffering under economic conditions that (a) seem to be totally preventable and (b) are likely being extended to prove a political point by the President. Whatever. So good riddance to 2011.

2012, though, should be another story entirely. We welcome it with fevered optimism, in hopes that its promise alone is sufficient to exorcise the foul-smelling remains of 2011. Maybe, luckily, 2011 was a fantastic year for you; a superb year—and outfreakingstanding year for you. We hope it was; but you, too, should look forward to 2012.

2012 will be better. Yes, it will be an important year politically, too, as Americans will be positioned, as they so often have, to determine what type of future the country will have. The economy should begin rebounding this year, as we are now at the ebb of personal bankruptcies. Credit should begin building up, and companies should start spending money—if Congress lets them.

Plus, there is something so positive about a nice, even number like 2012. A leap year, to be sure, but a year that starts neatly on a Sunday (and, were it not for that cool leap year, would end on a Sunday) always seems a bit more ready to do work.

May your 2012 be all that we hope it is, for it is a year of great expectations.

Last Email of 2011? Twas a Good One.

LittleRed1 sent the Czar an unbroken paragraph (but not all in upper case) regarding the Virginia GOP, whom by now you know are evil bastards. LittleRed1 writes (with our edits):

Oh great and powerful Czar,

As your mightiness no doubt knows but ran out of time to mention due to other more pressing matters, tweaking voting and ballot requirements is an old pastime in certain parts of the U.S. After Reconstruction ended in 1877, but even more during the 1890s to early 1900s; the dominant political party in the South manipulated voting through use of the Grandfather clause, poll taxes, literacy tests and other things.

However, these were aimed at poor whites as well as at blacks, especially in areas where the Farmers' Alliance gained ground in the 1880s and 1890s. The Powers That Were did not want an alliance of the sharecroppers and other members of the great unwashed challenging the southern system (see Stephen Kantrowitz, Ben Tillman and the Reconstruction of White Supremacy for an excellent account).

The Alliance connected to the Populist movement in the 1890s with their demands for federal assistance for agriculture, silver coinage in order to inflate the currency and make debt paying easier for the average debtor, and restrictions on land speculation. In areas where the Farmers' Alliance was not so strong, the loss of poor white votes was, to use a modern phrase, unfortunate "collateral damage" from the effort to impose Jim Crow.

Apparently, since keeping people from voting in primaries is now frowned upon, the Virginia GOP has taken a rotten leaf from the Dixiecrats and now tweaks the ballot instead of the ballot box.

Your most respectful and humble,
LittleRed1

Well, perhaps this is merely an extension of a fine old Southern tradition. But it may simply be that the Virginia GOP is now composed of evil bastards who want their guy in at the expense of democracy. No traditional Southern practices rig Chicago elections, nor the messes you see in Massachusetts, or the inability to discount forged votes in Wisconsin, or how Harry Reid got re-elected, or Washington state’s ugly mess in 2010.

But you hit on a key point: the GOP has taken a rotten leaf from the Dixiecrats. And this is unforgiveable, which is why the Czar takes offense to their actions. The Virginia GOP would be hard-pressed to find a single historical example where their practices have resulted in a good outcome...even for them.

Thomas Jefferson was not a violent man, but even he would be forced to throw a whopping overhand right into someone’s jaw over this.

By the way, apologies that LittleRed1 got off our holiday thanks list! Sorry, and thanks for your contributions, LittleRed1! You get an extra !!!!eleventy!! in your meal today.

Virginia GOP: You Are Evil Bastards

Bizarre what’s been going on with the Virginia Republican Party. But unfortunately explicable.

In most states, you can get yourself put on a presidential ballot with only about 5,000 signatures. This seems reasonable, so that you can weed out nonsense or frivolous candidates. However, Viriginia’s GOP required, for whatever reason, 10,000 signatures. This means a candidate needs to get 10,000 valid signatures to get his or her name put on the commonwealth ballot.

However, in November, the Virginia GOP upped that to 15,000 signatures—way too late in the game for any candidates except Mitt Romney (who has enough broad support to get 5,000 more signatures in a few weeks) and Ron Paul (who has enough volunteers to make a human sidewalk if he asked them to...and he might). Candidates like Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum basically got shut out; there was no way they could organize that many more signatures in the time remaining.

Okay, why? Basically, because of an interesting lawsuit filed by a former Republican candidate that ran for Congress. He claimed that these odd requirements were a ploy by the Virginia GOP to squeeze out people ”not connected.” He was challenging favorite son Israel O’Quinn for the same seat, and he claimed that the Virginia GOP was colluding to keep certain candidates in power and others out of power.

The rules were so rigged against him that he had to run as an independent (unsuccessfully); however, the argument he made raised so many questions that people began to take notice. For example, if the Virginia GOP wanted to ensure Mitt Romney would be the winner, they could exclude the others by rigging the ballot—like, um, perhaps raising the minimum number of signatures put on a petition for validity.

Okay, that squeezed out Gingrich, Perry, and Santorum (Bachmann might have had trouble even if the 5,000 threshold was used). But surely they did not count on Ron Paul, right? Did they expect this trick to squeeze him out?

Evidently not, because the apparently corrupt-as-hell bastards in the Virginia GOP have made a new rule: a loyalty oath! If you vote in the Virginia Republican primary, you hereby agree to support and vote for whomever the eventual nominee is. Like, say, Mitt Romney.

That oughta scare the bejeesus outta those Ron Paul whackjobs!

The Czar concludes that the people of Virginia need to clean up this insult to democracy before they point fingers at the horrid corruption of the Chicago machine. Rigging ballot requirements at the last moment? Loyalty oaths?

You want to know why DC-area Republicans are so un-conservative? Look at the toaster that pops ‘em out.

Graveyard Math

Obama’s campaign manager says that the President’s billion-dollar war chest isn’t the result of big business bribes, but ordinary Democrats kicking in $3 or $5 donations.

There are 72 million registered Democrats in the United States. A billion dollars divided by five bucks means that they will need to have 200 million Democrats contribute. 200 million votes out of 72 million voters? Yep—very typical Democratic math. And very possible.

We Have Obtained Holder Memo

A lot of us are wondering about Eric Holder’s depth of involvement in Fast and Furious, and exactly what he authorized. We finally obtained the authorization in question, which his office released moments ago:

From: Eric Holder, Attorney General, United States

To:                

Date:      

Re:          Y                                f!

I                                                                                     .                                                                                                          ?                                                                                      have                   .                                                                                              no                           ;                      involvement in               .                                                                                 ?                                         !            :                    )                                              )                                           )                                   anything.

Uh, for what it’s worth.

Course Correction

Do we not have super-smart readers? Check out this important course correction from Operative B2.

Oh Dread Lord of the Castle Gormogon,
Exalted knower of many things,

Permit me to make a slight correction to your description of the chain of command by which the President conducts military operations.

This applies to drones, snipers, cruise missiles, carrier battle groups, Marine Infantry, Army Mechanized Divisions, etc.

The President is the commander in chief of the US Armed Forces. The next link in the chain is the Secretary of Defense. The next link in the chain is the Combatant Commander of the theater in question. This person is a four star ranked military officer. Below him is a component commander for Air, Ground, or Naval forces (sometimes Special Operations Forces too). All operations require some level of jointness (operations combining assets of air, ground or naval forces). So for any operation there will be a supporting and a supported commander. Working out those levels of command details is the work of an operations center. Each combatant commander has under his command an air, ground and naval ops center with specialist staff personnel that create the operations plan to get the job done. The combatant commander will delegate almost all the work but may retain authority to make a real time decision or he may delegate some amount of command authority to conduct the planned operation. Depends on how dynamic or politically sensitive the operation is.

The Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) has no command authority. They are military advisers to the national command authority (President and SECDEF). They also manage staff that organize, train and equip forces under their respective branches.

Anyway just thought you would like to know.

Not that you didn't know, er...I mean of course you knew but just didn't express it exactly well...er...guess I gotta go.

Operative B2, USAF ret

Thanks, B2, for your service as well as your very illuminating operational diagram for the issuance of orders. The Czar remembers the old days, when he could point a finger and someone would wind up against a wall. Truth be told, the Czar remembers the old days when a commander-in-chief would take care of it his damn self with a single swing of an axe. But you know, committees, paperwork, the Internet, and static cling elimination puts pressure on a world leader to delegate, delegate, delegate.

How on earth did we get anything done before we had you readers?

AH on Independent Voters

AH writes in with what the Czar thinks is absolutely polished, spot-on thinking. Please read this carefully, because he hits all the notes the Czar would be aiming for in future essays:

Dread Czar,

Liked your piece last night. It fits nicely with Jonah Goldberg's latest on the "conservative establishment" and how it has moved rightward but is not bringing the country with it.

When we look at our field of candidates, even though they're all conservatives, you get the sense that they're really kind of disappointed with conservative ideology and its hands-off approach. Sure, they offer tax cuts and reduced regulation, but you get the feeling that they'd rather be using the full power of government to demonstrate their ability to solve the nation's problems. They talk about unleashing the creative force of private enterprise, but my sense is that they feel very strongly that it matters who does the unleashing. "I shall unleash the awesome power of the free market with my targeted tax cuts, with my Enterprise Zones, with my 59-point economic plan!"

There's a reason Hayek called it the Fatal 'Conceit'. All of the candidates in our current field (with the possible exception of Rick Santorum) give me the idea that they think very highly of themselves indeed. I can't envision them saying, with Hayek, "none of us, me included, is smart enough to 'run' the American economy, and my task as president will be to stop our government from pretending that it runs the country". They want to put the levers of power in the right hands; conservatives want the levers snapped off and thrown into the sea.

So how did we wind up with such conceited candidates? It's interesting that Rick Santorum, the only one I can envision avoiding Hayek's Fatal Conceit, also feels unelectable to me and has had a hard time getting oxygen in the debates. Our primary system, like our culture, is set up for the shameless self-promoter. It was not always this way. Calvin Coolidge is the obvious example, but many of the 19th century presidents were modest men. (Plenty had much to be modest about.) And that's why I liked your piece so much. You identify the Ignorant Independents as the ones our candidates compete over so fiercely. Most days, aren't they the celebrity-watching, cult-of-personality followers?

Running for president right now is a grueling horror show of living perpetually in public, under enormous scrutiny. Is it any wonder that the vast majority of people willing to do it are those who think so highly of themselves that they don't mind continuously living the celebrity lifestyle?

Of course, if that is the problem, I have no idea how to fix it. Dissolve the people and elect another?

Respectfully yours,
AH

Geez, this is good analysis from top-to-bottom. The Czar dares not improve on it, but had the following two reactions worth sharing.

1. Rick Santorum could possibly be running the best campaign of all: slow and steady, weeding out the competition, until the media is forced to listen to him because there is no one left but Romney. At this rate, he is starting to climb up the polls at a steady but significant number. According to one poll, he’s third in Iowa and fourth (or fifth) in the country. He has a great message, and seems to have fixed his biggest problem—his appearance as a crybaby in the first few debates. The last couple of debates saw him use his air-time much more wisely, and he scored some big hits. Let us hope this is accoridng to his plan, and not to luck: a slower rise to the spotlight is bound to work better than the meteoric rises of Bachmann, Pawlenty, Perry, Cain, and Gingrich—for all the good that did them. Santorum may be the smartest one out there, if this is all by his design. Yeah, he would likely KO the President in a national debate, especially if Santorum keeps using his two strongest weapons: foreign policy and economic liberty. Obama clearly intends to list those as his two successes (based on his 60 Minutes interview, and Santorum could easily embarrass the President on both.


2. Part of the problem overall is that the candidates really do understand politics. They know full well that what this country needs is a liposuction of unprecedented scale, but also know that they will be in serious, serious hell if they try it. All of them seem to understand that the President can’t wake up the morning after inauguration and get to work eliminating entitlements, undoing Obamacare, and shrinking down the Executive Branch by the afternoon. None of them want to promise it because, realistically, it ain’t gonna go down that way. The Czar gets that, but also knows that we don’t have much time to react. Even so, it might be nice for a candidate like Romney to explain how dire the situation is and start detailing a plan to undo it all.

Thanks for your additional observations about the so-called independents. Ultimately, we will be sorry we paid so much attention to those who matter so little to our country.

Endless Droning?

The Czar has trouble following the right-wing and left-wing media’s competing narratives about President Obama’s (over-)reliance on drone attacks.

The left is worried he is getting too bloodthirsty. The right has a dual message: first, this was actually a Bush tactic that Obama is taking credit for, and two, he is doing this at the expense of boots on the ground.

The Czar is not sure what the big deal here is. Think about it:

1. He is using them to kill bad guys. Quite a few of them. In fact, quite a few really bad guys.


2. They can operate for hours without food or water. They require little fuel. They operate at dizzying heights that allow them an incredible ability to see those bad guys from very far away.


3. Operating a drone is a helluva lot cheaper than losing one American soldier.


4. We have only lost one drone, appreciably, making their success rate pretty damn good.

In short, they work. If the left-wing wants to complain, they should compare Obama to Bill Clinton, who preferred to pound the snot out of everything with Tomahawk missiles—sometimes with inaccurate results. Tommies are a lot more expensive, and you tend not to get them back: especially when they work as planned.

If the right-wing wants to complain, they could question why Bush didn’t use them more often, saving lives and money.

Look, folks, we’re kidding ourselves if we think there is some over-reliance on drones. They work, and this has been the future of military aviation for decades. They eliminate the weakest link—the pilot—but retain its strongest link—the pilot. Most manned aircraft, you see, are limited by the physical frame of the pilot: the body can only take so many gs, and pilots need rest, food, and water. Yet, the intelligence, instinct, and ingenuity of a pilot cannot remotely be matched by the best robotic software. A drone is a machine piloted remotely (in most cases) by a live pilot sitting safely at a console. This is a perfect solution.

And the use of them by the President is proof: they work. Incredibly well.

One objection is the President’s repeated use of them for assassinations, or “extrajudicial” killings. Okay: what makes these targeted hits any different from a USMC sniper taking out an asset of extreme value to the enemy? So far, we have not exactly been flying Predators through Times Square offing nosy reporters. In fact, all the applications we have seen are military operations against sworn, lethal enemies of the United States.

Also, we seem to skipping several steps, here. The President is not flying these things. He issues a general order, which is taken by the JCS to the DoD. The DoD identifies the targets or conditions of engagement, and issues a series of orders all the way down to a commanding officer who asks a team of people, not just a kid at an Xbox, to ready a drone, get it aloft, and start scanning for opportunities. This is no different than any other military operation; certainly, it follows the same procedures as a Tomahawk cruise missile strike. If there are problems with the order—operationally or Constitutionally—there are numerous protocols in place to stop the action and get clarification.

Let us not get too paranoid here.

Why the Candidates Stink

As Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul turn the heat up on each other, it has become clear that neither man is destined nor desirable to become President. A cakewalk for Mitt Romney?

Not so fast—a quick scan of some recent editorials, op-eds, and pundit posts shows that the situation is ripe for another candidate to rise up. Indeed, we see Ricks Perry and Santorum effectively tied in Iowa and elsewhere.

What is curious to the Czar is that this news does not surprise you. You register a faint flicker of approval to see that Mitt Romney, for all his first-placedness, still is in a precarious position, and are...intrigued? Interested? Pleased...? to see Perry and Santorum moving up.

Okay. Honesty time. Yes, there is the possibility that we can finally let Paul and Gingrich cling to each other as they spiral into electoral oblivion, and reasonable for us to watch as a more determined attacker drifts upward to displace Mitt Romney.

But our approval, intrigue, interest, pleasure, curiosity, content, satisfaction, glee, gratification, and enchantment with this news story may be nothing more than old-fashioned Schadenfreude. We are delighting in the sad realization that Mitt Romney just isn’t what the country really really needs.

Conservativism has sobered out. Mitt Romney might be just the guy to beat Barack Obama, but that isn’t enough. The problem with this country isn’t the President, but the mentality that put a goof like him into power: we are spending ourselves into rapid oblivion, and frankly we all know that Mitt Romney is another big government guy. We just don’t like to admit it.

Sure, he is a better bargain than the President; Romney does not appear to favor endruns around Congress, does not favor putting open socialists into positions of power, and likely won’t abuse our military, allies, and trading partners. He won’t be worse than George W. Bush, whom a lot of unemployed people really miss right now. But we already know a Romney inaugural address will not feature a line like “Under this republic, the rewards of industry belong to those who earn them.”

This is all a bizarre development. Why can’t we get a better batch of candidates? The answer is because we have deluded ourselves with a mythology about voting: we need candidates who appeal to a group that doesn’t exist, really: the Independent voter.

A strictly conservative candidate, who understands basic math well enough to see where this country is headed, is deemed unelectable. We need people, apparently, who appeal to someone more in the middle. This is a lot of hogwash.

Your independent voters consist of the following groups of real people:

1. Libertarians who are tired of the GOP. Yeah, at election time, they will probably push the elephant lever, but if you ask them now, they hate everyone. Sadly, this group (outside of a few whackjob isolationists and potheads) would immediately get behind a solidly conservative candidate. But because the major GOP candidates are so un-libertarian, they call themselves independents—and this ironically creates GOP candidates they cannot stand. Figure this is about 10-12% of independents.



2. People who lie. They say they are independent when the pollster calls, but come election time, they already know who they want. And they are solidly Democrat, or solidly Republican, but they hate to admit it. And, as it happens, they too help to create candidates that make it easy for them to hate admitting it. Probably a good 30% of indies are in this category.



3. People who are just dumb ignoramuses. Yes, this is the remainder, and it is a big majority of independents. Ask them which way they are leaning, and they say they are independents. Ask them to name three ideological differences between Democrats and Republicans, and they have no idea. Ask them if they like high taxes, they say no. Ask them if they like government programs, they say yes. Ask them which party is in control of the Senate or the House, and they really aren’t sure. Some of them claim they despise the partisanship; but that hatred fuels the creation of weak, bipartisan big government political candidates. Nice going, chumps. These are the folks who are responsible for candidates like Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, John McCain, Bob Dole, Bill Clinton, and yes, Barack Obama.

The last group doesn’t care because it never has to. They are blissfully unaware that their ignorance of the issues and the facts have real consequences. They roll their eyes at their paychecks, but they cheer when their tax refund check arrives—never realizing how much more that check should have been, they think the guy in power just gave them most of their money back. Seriously, if we eliminated withholding, and every citizen had to pay his or her taxes in one lump sum once a year, you would see a massive revolution in conservative thought explode from coast-to-coast.

A quote from Thomas Jefferson has been making the rounds. The Czar was with him when he said it:

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.

Does that not totally describe the entitlement you-owe-me state of our country today? It also describes why this third group of so-called independent voters keep screwing the rest of us from getting the candidates we need.

Something to trouble you further:

1. Our country is quite literally destroying itself in its own debt.


2. If we remove Social Security, Medicare, and welfare from the ticket, we produce more than enough taxes to pay down our debt quite quickly.


3. Private retirement programs are, for the most part, completely profitable for their members and could replace Social Security without threatening any money paid into it by current or pending retirees.


4. Private healthcare insurance can be made equally low cost for participants, more so than Medicare, especially for people on fixed incomes or prior conditions, without any additional costs and without any loss of money, let alone the massive hemorrhaging of money the government is experiencing.


5. Private aid and charity programs can eliminate the increasing spread of welfare, which was once at its lowest levels in history only 15 years ago.

These are the messages that the third group of so-called independents need to hear. Break it down like that, and you can change everything.

I'll see your preggie pops and raise you...

Dread and Awful Czar,

Dr. J. accepts your bet with relish. Should his beloved Philadelphia Flyers defeat the mighty Blackhawks, Dr. J. requests, in addition to the aforementioned Mallort-favored Preggie-Pops, a five course dinner for four, with wild boar as the secret ingredient, at the Czar's choice of either Sinuiju, or if he cannot swing that, the Relais et Chateaux endorsed Chicago restaurant Everest will suffice.

Should the Flyers fall in ignominious defeat, Dr. J. will relinquish his D-battery launching rail gun to the Czar.

See you at the Leaping Peacock at the appointed time.

Warmest Regards,

Dr. J.

The Gauntlet is Thrown

Thursday, January 5th, the Chicago Blackhawks are scheduled to arrive in Philadelphia to play Dr. J’s beloved Flyers. Because the Hawks don’t play the Predators (Doc’s other favorite team) until January 24th, the Czar is inclined to invite Dr. J. to an old-school Gormogon wager.

They work this way: the challenger makes a bet, in which he stipulates what he gets if he wins, and what he will deliver voluntarily if he loses. The challenged is welcome to stipulate what else he will get if victorious, and what he will give up in turn if defeated. Other members are welcome to particpate, if they feel some flicker of honor worth defending (Mandy follows the Hawks, but Doc is likely on his own with the Flyers; comes Caps v Hawks, though and it’s usually nuts around here). Minions and operatives may only watch in horror as lives are destroyed.

The Czar hereby challenges the good Doctor. If the Hawks are victorious over the Flyers, the Czar expects to receive a tassled beige yak-wool trapper hat. In the event the Flyers prevail over the Hawks, the Czar will relinquish his prized Mallort-flavored Preggie Pops.

Once again, the Doc may accept the challenge with a counter-challenge, or he may ignore the whole thing like you’re about to.

Satellite Mail UPDATED

Who disturbs the Czar’s presence amidst Plants vs. Zombies? Why, two quick emails on Hexagon.

The first is actually an interoffice from GorT, which when compiled says that he had a family member work on that very project, and said family members was excited that he could finally talk about it.

And the other is from Operative AH, whose knowledge of all things aerospace makes the Czar think he must be one of Mandarin’s operatives:

Dread Czar,

The guy may or may not be telling the truth, but you can't judge him harshly for using "light years" in the colloquial sense. Like it says in the article, his company built the optics package. Lockheed built the satellite. On programs like this there isn't a lot of contact between groups; he's probably an optics or electrical engineer who's hardly ever even met an aerospace engineer.

Your friend in the defense business,
AH

Hmm. Well, maybe.

But there is a problem with not knowing one’s units of measure in aerospace. Anyway, we are happy to have AH write in, and we hope that more people of this caliber read us and write to us.

And indeed, Operative #462.5 has:

Oh most dread Lord and Czar of all of Muscovy (may thine enemies be afflicted after death by vengeful shades of colo-rectal surgeons)

I submit that it will be difficult to ascertain if your operatives are, in fact and in deed, of the same caliber as operative AH, unless we are given his/her/its length and diameter.

I hope that Christmas was enjoyable at the Castle.

--
Respectfully,
Gormogon Operative #462.5

See what one has to deal with?

Just Sayin'

Evidently, Fox News says the truth can be told on a now-revealed Cold War spy satellite.

Joseph Prusak, 76, spent six months [working on it]. When he was finally briefed on [Project] Hexagon, Prusak, who had worked as an engineer on earlier civil space projects, wondered if he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

"I thought they were crazy," he says. "They envisaged a satellite that was 60-foot long and 30,000 pounds and supplying film at speeds of 200 inches per second. The precision and complexity blew my mind."

Several years later, after numerous successful launches, he was shown what Hexagon was capable of — an image of his own house in suburban Fairfield.

"This was light years before Google Earth," Prusak said. "And we could clearly see the pool in my backyard."

The Czar very much questions the authenticity of a so-called space projects engineer who doesn’t know that a light year is a measure of distance, not time.

A White House Christmas: Silent Cal Style

Merry Christmas, Gentle Readers!

Dr. J. and your Gormogons are enjoying Christmas today with Christmas Mass (we actually took in the children's vigil yesterday afternoon where the Lil Med Student brought up the baby Jesus and laid Him in the manger), the opening of gifts (Mrs. Dr. J. received precious metals to diversify her portfolio against a declining dollar, the Lil Resident received an iPod and the Lil Med Student scored the Lego Millenium Falcon). Tonight, in the J. household there will be feasting on roast beast, root vegetables and some riesling.

Dr. J. wanted to share some snippets from Christmas in the 1920s. Charles C. Johnson, who is writing a biography on President Calvin Coolidge wrote a terrific article on how Silent Cal kept Christmas as President.

He quotes Coolidge's autobiography as he mused on his first White House Christmas:

Calvin Coolidge loved Christmas. Christmastime was a “sacrament observed with the exchange of gifts, when the stockings were hung, and the spruce tree was lighted in the symbol of Christian faith and love,” he wrote in his Autobiography.

Here is a taste from the President's First Christmas Message in 1927:

“Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things there will be born in us a Savior and over us all will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world.”

And from 1930 he wrote in his national column:

“Every day has been numberless times a birthday. Only a few are widely celebrated, for it is not the event of birth, but what is done in after life, that makes a natal day especially significant.” We celebrate Christmas, Coolidge wrote, “wherever there has been a vestige of Western civilization, because on that day was born one who grew to be the only perfect man and became Savior of the world. . . . No other fact, no other influence in human experience has compared with the birth and life of Christ.”

What Dr. J. appreciates is that the 1920s were a simpler era where Harding and Coolidge reeled us back in from the first encroachment on our liberties by the Progressive movement.

Silent Cal had a sense of the sacred and a respect for something bigger than himself.  His humility made him a great president.

Again, Merry Christmas to you and yours, and thank you, again, for frequenting the Castle!

Merry Christmas, and We Mean Everyone!

Merry Christmas. It is a beautiful morning, no matter what. The Gormogons are very excited, and you can see us all gathered around the tree opening our gifts.



Your Œcumenical Volgi, or 孔夫子, for those who came in late, or The Notorious ŒV, for those of you who don’t apparently exist, was excited to get a jar of Taoist Cream of Charm from Mandarin, a book of Laotian swear words from the Czar, a 2013 Mayan calendar from GorT, a wad of crumpled up paper from ‘Puter, and a jar of ghee from Dr. J. Volgi is excited with these gifts, but decided to run downstairs and push those giant blocks around some more. You know the ones. GorT explained the whole thing like two weeks ago.

A Holly Jolly Ghettoputer, or ‘Puter, for those of us who actually read his writing, was delighted to open up a Fabergé Manhattan shaker from Czar, a nutmeg ghee from Dr. J, a CD of Wilhelm screams from Volgi, a pocket chainsaw from Mandarin, and a Blu-ray of Lady Gaga Sings the Classic American Songbook (©2031) from GorT. He was so enamored of the generosity of his friends that he spent the rest of the morning whipping Sleestak with a belt.

The Inscrutably Merry Mandarin, or 吏恆, received a gift certificate to Culver’s for 30 burgers from ‘Puter, an 1851 butter churn from GorT, flavored Wisconsin apple butters from Volgi, old-fashioned potato pierogi from Czar, and a jar of ghee from Dr. J. Not only did we all forget that Mandy is allergic to butter, but he pointed out that this was probably the worst collection of Christmas gifts he ever received. At one time.

The One-Horse Open Gort, or GorTechie, registered a blip of satisfaction when he tore open his gifts. He got a WD-40 ghee from Dr. J, a jar of KL5 wax from Mandarin, a coupon for a dozen apple cider donuts from ‘Puter, a peppermint sugar piece of fiberglass from Czar, and a bag of wax lips from Volgi. It certainly was funny watching tin man smash those wax lips onto his face, because GorT really has no idea where wax lips attach. It was like pin the tail on the donkey, played by sightless aliens who have no idea what a tail is. And eat donkeys.

Don-We-Now-Our-Jay Apparel, Dr. J, was giggling to see what his friends have done for him. Mandarin got him a force lightning grounding and bonding kit, because sometimes you need to get rid of that unused extra, you know? And Czar pleased him with a practice heart, although Czar was a bit evasive on where he got one. Volgi surprised the good doctor with a Sword of Volkhyra, which we all know is a big deal. GorT made the doc’s day with a nuclear interferometric sphygmomanometer, which was senstive enough to measure the blood pressure on a freaking tse-tse fly, and ‘Puter gave him some ancient medication he found going through an old lady’s medicine cabinet. You won’t be hearing from her anymore.

And last, your dread and simply awful Czar of Muscovy, the one and only, most humble and Ho-Ho-Horrible Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй, was honored and sated with his gifts. ‘Puter gave him a bunch of discount coupons he found in the paper, GorT gave the Czar a vintage Egyptian kopesh sword, Mandarin gave him tickets to the Chicago Express hockey game (front row, center ice, baby!), Volgi gave him a rare Tang Dynasty longbow, and Dr. J gave him a jar of ghee, which appears to explain why Dr. J. spent most of last night on www.buygheegifts.com/lastminute/.

The day got better! We had a visit from two very rare Gormogons! The Grand Moghul stopped in from his Park Avenue, New York, penthouse to drop off some genuine New York pizzas (don’t knock ‘em: New Yorkers really do make good pizza), and so did the elusive Prince Tochmas, who poured some of the latest libations they are making in the nightclubs he stalks looking for victims. The Mallort spritzer was quite the hit.

And lest you think we forget, we are Gormogons, who remember everything. The Tcho-Tchos were given smilodon ribs, which they polished off bones and all (easily done, since all they were bones to begin with). 2-1B, the Doc’s assistant, was allowed an extra hour of break time, which he spent downloading updates to his operating system. Little Dat Ho was given an onion skin which he was welcome to draw on (if he was careful and didn’t crumble it), and Sleestak was, as you know, given a merciless beating with a belt. That actually is something he enjoys. Emily Grace runs our PR department, and she was rewarded for her undying loyalty with most of the afternoon off without pay. Inetef-Te-Henqet, our revivified Egyptian mummy butler, was given a jar of olives. It might not seem like much, but if you were a mummy, you would understand the deep significance of the gesture. By the way, if you want to be a mummy, please contact us.

Did we forget the animals? Heck, no. The Volgi’s pet yeti—who is so popular he might one day get his own Twitter account...although to be honest, he cannot spell and once smashed a laptop by pounding it with his fist—received a DVD of Sonny Chiba’s Water Cyborg, which he got so excited over that he mauled a visitor and had to be tranked about a dozen times. And Barry, Mandarin’s beloved manticore, was given an extra hippie in his daily ration. The cuddly guy was so exicted that he tormented the bastard for about two hours before finally plunging his tail-spike straight through his Haight-Ashbury-scented torso. Then he ate him.

The generosity did not stop, as many of our friends were remembered. Jonathan Last was given a rare copy of X-Men #41, in which Jean Grey appears topless in an experimental art direction gone wrong. Jonah Goldberg was given a lock of Harry Reid’s hair (we are not sure why, but it is something he and that Siberian medicine man he hangs around with have been insisting we supply). Borepatch was given a Mandarin-designed 5 gauge fully automatic slug gun and a crate of 500 6-inch magnum loads. That oughta keep him busy for a couple of hours. They have something like a quarter-mile range. Professor Mondo was given The Unpublished Chaucer, which contains all that forgotten creepy tweener porn the Anglicans hushed up in 1493. Uncle Jay was given a DVD of The NHL Guide to Single Mode Optical Fiber Implementation and FC Termination in Spanish. The Feral Irishman was given a little known audio tape of Dale Carnegie’s unfinished companion work, How to Really Piss People the Hell Off. And to Brian Dunbar, well, we couldn’t decide what to get him, so we just gave him a solid 22-pound gold bar because we have these stupid things laying around cluttering up the place. He can probably find something to do with it, like make a door stop out of it, use it as a paper weight, or maybe put a dozen rooms onto his house. Whatever.

And a Happy Christmas to our regularly submitting minions: MbernadetteE, J Edmo, Blaknsam, Jimmiebjr, Madeleine, Fred, Michael McDonald, Sarah Bellum, the Commish, Bill, and everyone else on Twitter (all 380 of you), and to our regular contributors: JAB and the Holy Ensemble at the DoubleWide, the Holy Roman Emporer, Dr. (KN)J, JTS, MC and SC, FJR, Sky (our Royal Falconer), DT and all the Myrmidons, TG, JS, BG, MS, BlueSun (ya’ll know who you are), the Not Really Unholy Ken, SMack, Æ, our Royal Exchequer (and thankfully not our spell chequer) SW, ScottO (who is truly the AgStateSense), dearest of dears Nightfly, GD, MH, ME, Bongburgher, RC, LittleRed1, CN, NR, NB, Mallethead, and our Canadian Reader. Apologies if the Czar did not mention you: always happy to add a few more to our list, so keep writing in! But not Jeff Abermann, who should receive a punch in the teeth for Christmas.

Merry Christmas, everybody. The Czar is back to one of Tochmas’s mallort mixers

The Sidekicks' Christmas Trees

Given how infected with the Christmas spirit your Gormogons are this year, with GorT's Advent Calendar, Dr. J.'s Christmas singles, Volgi's Christmas albums, and other various and sundry Chrismassy posts past, present, and yet to come...Dr. J. doubts you could imagine us not sharing our sidekicks' trees.

First on the list is the tree we made for Sleestak. As all he is good for is eating, we made for him a bacon tree from Dat Ho's yearly bacon ration. Don't complain Dat Ho, this is the season for giving! Sheesh.

Next we come to Dat Ho. We decided he could have a tree as well. The Czar mugged a beagle and a couple of kids with alopecia for Dat Ho's tree.



Last but not least, we come to 2-1B's tree. We weren't sure if it was a Christmas Tree, or a droid equivalent of a 'Real Doll,' whatever...but we'll take what we can get!

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #12

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the twenty-fourth, so you’re on your own for the actual Twelve Days of Christmas unless we get any more bright ideas. That said, we figure you’ll probably want to be left alone to deal with all the treed fowl, leaping lords, etc., that tend to fill up that period.

Chris Isaak — Chris Isaak Christmas

Chris Isaak and Silvertone rollick their way through a bunch of standards and a half-dozen or so originals. The Volgi digs the heck out of this album, particular the Hammond-organ riffed “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” perhaps the sole recording of the song not only keeps Confucius from changing the station, but actually turning it up.

His “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” duet with Stevie Nicks is a nice uptown take on the song. The half-dozen or so originals will appeal to any Isaak fan—the Mexican horns in “Hey, Santa!” are typical of the exuberances of the upbeat numbers, and “Pretty Paper” is classic Isaak brokenhearted mopery (that’s good).

The best original on the album for Confucius’s tael is “Got to Be Good” in which Isaak intersperses a Tom Waits-like refrain for a lusty counterpoint to the otherwise old-fashioned, 1920s-style tune.

Merry Christmas, all.

Gormogon Advent Calendar - Day 24

The final day of our calendar brings up the door to these charities:

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (one of 'Puter's picks)
The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging (GorT frequents this charity)
The Holy Land Christian Ecumenical Foundation (also a pick from GorT)

We wish you & yours a blessed, safe and happy Christmas!

Puter's Castle Christmas Tree

In a police lineup, it would not be hard to pick out 'Puter's Christmas Tree. Our little, lovable Luddite went with a Hello Kitty theme. Here you can see his tree, with Mrs. 'Puter modeling the latest in Hello Kitty fashions (which she found under the tree this year), along with her gift to 'Puter. An FDA approved Hello Kitty lumbar pillow to help his ailing back while he slaves away at work which, if you have read his posts of late, has become quite busy. So busy, that it's been quite some time since his last visceral take down of E.J. Dionne.



Enjoy your Christmas with the family, Puter! Hope that Mr. Scrooge gives you at least a half-day off on Sunday!

Christmas Is Coming

Uncle Jay finds this gem. A Terry Gilliam salute to Christmas cards.

Surprisingly fun for the whole family.

The Volgi's Castle Christmas Tree

Confucius, our Œcumenical Volgi (The Notorious ŒV) is kicking his Christmas tree old school style. He is sporting a traditional Cantonese money tree. This tree is typically brought out by single Chinese individuals for the Chinese Spring Festival. Red envelopes are hung from the trees for married couples to give money to in denominations of 8, 88, or even in 888 yuan. 


The Volgi is happily married, so any yuan slipped into the envelopes will be mailed to the St. Labre Indian School, the Volgi designated charity this year, and a sentimental favorite of Dr. J. as Papa J. was a 
donor to the same charity as Volgi.

Fast and Furiously Funny

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #11

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the twenty-fourth, so you’re on your own for the actual Twelve Days of Christmas unless we get any more bright ideas. That said, we figure you’ll probably want to be left alone to deal with all the treed fowl, leaping lords, etc., that tend to fill up that period.

Leon Redbone — Christmas Island

Christmas Island could well be Confucius’s desert-island Christmas disk. All secular carols performed with the inimitable (well, eminently imitable, but nonpareil) Redbone style.

From a wistful “White Christmas,” to a light-touch “Winter Wonderland,” to a swinging version of one of the Volgi’s least favorite perennials, “Frosty the Snowman,” accompanied by another genius oddball, Dr. John, Redbone covers a surprising emotional range.

As you’d expect, the older songs do very well, with a peppy “There’s No Place Like Home for the Holidays” and a longing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” among the album’s highlights.

Gormogon Advent Calendar - Day 23

Continuing our advent calendar charity doors, today's door is to the following charities:

The Military Order of the Purple Heart (one of the Czar's picks)
Paralyzed Veterans of America (favored by the Mandarin)

For those who like contributing to other charities to support things in a slightly different way, you might want to consider:

Cooling Vests for Military Working Dogs (courtesy of the Czar)
and any number of local or regional animal rescue organizations.

Finally, we have one from Dat Ho:

Somos Amigos Medical Missions (GorT has a relative-in-law who is actively involved in this and its a worthy organization)

Movie Magic

Some things that Hollywood writers will never admit?

First, corporate CEOs do not reside in castle-like offices at the top of skyscrapers, with wood trimmed walls, fireplaces, massive desks, and impossibly large windows. The Czar has been in many CEO offices; while they can be larger than the average 10' x 12' space, they usually have the same carpeting, the same paint scheme, the same windows, and the same 8'-6" floor to ceiling height as everyone else. Their artwork might be a little nicer, and they usually have a pretty nice chair, but that’s about it. Oh, and a couple have a very functional bathroom tucked away on the side.

The goverment does not have unlimited funds for new, powerful, and almost magical technology. Intelligence operatives actually live in crappy hotel rooms and ordinary apartments, have to claw and scratch to get a weapon made in the last 10 years, and have to fill out a dozen pieces of paperwork every time they fire a weapon. And they drive crappy cars.

Most white people do not have a single, close black friend. They have numerous friends, a few black, a few Hispanic, some Asian, and a few with tough foreign accents. In other words, the diversity of people white people know is much richer overall than Hollywood thinks. Possibly Hollywood writers have one black friend, if they have any friends at all. So that explains it.

Few people live in a three-bedroom penthouse apartment in downtown LA or Manhattan with a well-appointed office. But any movie character who is in advertising, works at a hospital, is an architect, a reporter, a liberal arts professor, works in city government, or is employed in finance always seems to have a superlative, well-furnished apartment. In reality, these people live in fairly ordinary places. In movies, though, only cops are allowed to live in run-down apartments; in reality, cops live in fairly nice suburban homes. Makes sense; Hollywood writers have no experience with any of these people to know better.

Chicagoans do not eat deep dish pizza. For the love of God, this is only something they force tourists to spend money on. Want to film an accurate dining scene in Chicago? Have them wolfing down a beef sandwich.

In movies, small town folk often appear stupid initially, but wind up being practical, wise, and down-to-earth intelligent people. In reality, small town folk are just as stupid as big city folk. Things just cost a whole lot less.

The Emperor Has No Clothes: VDH style

Victor David Hanson is one of Dr. J.'s favorite conservative columnists, primarily because of his ability present his arguments clearly, succinctly, but with a touch of verbal flair not seen in many columnists. He is like a conservative George Will (no offense, George, Dr. J. likes you too, but you are a few notches more to Dr. J.'s left than VDH is), or an upper-middle class Bill Buckley.

Today in his Private Papers, in a brutally honest and forthright manner, he points out that Emperor Obama has no clothes.

On Obama the Healer:

If one were to collate the Obama record on race (from Eric Holder’s “my people” and “cowards” to Sotomayor’s “wise Latina” and Van Jones’s racist rants), it is the most polarizing in a generation. The Obama way is and always was to create horrific straw men: opponents of healthcare reform are greedy doctors who want to rip out your tonsils; opponents of tax increases jet off to Vegas to blow their children’s tuition money; skeptics of Solyndra-like disasters want to dirty the air; those against open borders wish to put alligators and moats in the Rio Grande as they round up children at ice cream parlors. There were ways of opposing Republicans without the demonization, but the demonization was useful when followed by the soaring, one-eyed Jack rhetoric about reaching out, working together, and avoiding the old politics of acrimony.

And on Obama the Reformer:

So when Obama speaks loudly about Wall Street criminality, we now snooze — only to awaken knowing Corzine’s missing $1 billion, or George Soros’s felony conviction in France, or Jeffrey Immelt’s no-tax gymnastics were not just never raised, but are exempted through the purchase of liberal penance, in the manner that John Kerry never really docked his gargantuan yacht in a less taxed state, or Timothy Geithner never really pocketed his FICA allowances.

So go read the rest right now. Dr. J. saved you a few juicy surprises!

Gormogon Advent Calendar - Day 22

We're in the final stretch of the advent season and it is a time to be generous.  Generous with your spirit, your hospitality and your charity.  So today's advent door is a door into some of the charities that your Gormogons favor.  If you're looking for a charity to support, take a minute and check one of these out.  You've probably heard of many of them.  The Gormogons recommend that you donate wisely - there are many solicitations made these days for various "charities" that don't qualify for a tax deduction.  GorT recommends doing some research - a great site to use is:  Charity Navigator.  It breaks down the charities pretty well so you can evaluate whether you'd like to support them or not.

Today's charities are:
The St. Jude Children's Research Hospital (a favor of our resident surgeon, Dr. J)
The American Heart Association (also a Dr. J favorite)
St. Labre Indian School (a favorite of the Volgi)

Americans are a generous people and, in GorT's opinion, government programs are largely inefficient in supporting the true needy, both here and abroad.  Furthermore, GorT firmly believes in subsidiarity and organizations that are closest to the needy are the ones to best address their needs.

While we're on charity, I did find this video amusing when considering the "needy" OWS folk:

The Truth Behind the Whole Payroll Tax Squabble

Ah, the payroll tax cut debate.

A lot of mud is slinging on both sides, so the Czar thought he would clear things up for you, dear readers, on what is really going on. Warning: sausage making is featured.

Presently, there is a temporary cut in place that affects your paycheck. This is the payroll tax cut; your employer is given a bit of a reduction in how much he or she takes out of your paycheck, which is then passed on to you. This was a simple attempt to put more money in your pocket during the recession—assuming you are one of the people who still have a job.

Anyway, the money that this tax would ordinarily generate is locked into funding the social security trust fund, to make money available for retirees. With the tax in place, it greatly reduces how much money is going into social security right now, and ultimately its extension will cause a loss, meaning the government has to find the money somewhere or else our debt goes up even more.

Knowing this could happen in advance, the legislation behind the tax cut was always given an expiration date of December 31, 2011.

But one of the President’s budget committees recommended the tax cut continue for another year—it reall is a bad time to reduce everyone’s paychecks. The President actually listened, and suggested we extend the cut another year.

The House Republicans agreed, for the most part, and passed a bill to do just that. The Senate Democrats, however, revised the bill to extend the tax cut for only two months, and also tacked on riders for another $200+ billion in spending. And two hard boiled eggs.

Naturally, the House Republicans said absolutely not: the intent of the tax cut is to put money in Americans’s pockets; the additional and totally unrelated riders wind up taking more out of people’s pockets. And so it was rejected.

The Democrats are now spinning it that the tax cut is expiring, and that the House Republicans rejected the bill. All true, but the whole story is not being told. When House Republicans offered to meet with the President and the Senate (who abruptly took off for the holidays), they were refused.

Very ingenious: the Democrats are actually the ones blocking the tax cut (by refusing to meet with the House) because it reduces money for Democratic spending sprees; the Republicans, genuinely acting in the tax payers’s interests, are being portrayed as the guys who want your taxes to go up.

What a world.

The Czar's Castle Christmas Tree

Now, the Czar has been our Minister of Substantive Posts™ of late, with 'Puter hideously busy dealing with all things reality based, and GorT, Volgi, and Dr. J. being all Christmassy with our content, and Mandy, well, being Mandy. But you will notice, the Czar took the day off yesterday. Our Tcho-Tchocam™ caught what he was up to, and that was finally putting up his Christmas Tree and Lights...


Here you can see him hard at work with his Castle quarters in the background...

Once he finished, we put up a viewing balcony and dome in the courtyard facing towards both the tree and his Griswoldesque lit-up quarters, and lo and behold:



The tree that bites back!

Merry Christmas

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #10

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the twenty-fourth, so you’re on your own for the actual Twelve Days of Christmas unless we get any more bright ideas. That said, we figure you’ll probably want to be left alone to deal with all the treed fowl, leaping lords, etc., that tend to fill up that period.

Squirrel Nut Zippers — Christmas Caravan

The weirdo (in the best way) jazz-blues-klezmer-swing band out of Chapel Hill put out a typically idiosyncratic Christmas album, almost entirely of original music.

The cover of “Winter Weather” has a typically wry, suggestive tone, and the original “Carolina Christmas” is utterly irresistable. Also, they rip through an instrumental “Sleigh Ride” most entertainingly.

Do check out the wiggy last track—written by the drummer’s grandfather and rearranged and recorded by the Zippers fifty years later, it’s followed by the scratchy original 1952 demo.

Gormogon Advent Calendar - Day 21

Rounding out the third pass through the castle of the advent calendar is Dat Ho - who has been enjoying his mini-hibachi grill down in the basement.  He opened his door and unfolded a small shirt and held it up.  Then, he dropped it and started running.  I think I heard the Czar snicker and reach for his TOZT-7.

It's going to be a long year...

The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey, coming to theaters 12/14/12. You have a week to catch it before the end of the world.



But, if you can't wait that long. There will be Legos™ in the summer.

Gort's Castle Christmas Tree

Pac Man turned 11111 (Eleventy-eleven) this year, and Gort chose to recognize his binary buddy with his Christmas Tree this year! For all of our global warming fanatic friends, be reassured that GorT is only using cold fusion to power his tree. Sadly, he had to do a little strip mining in China in order to obtain a sufficient amount of Thulium, Erbium and Proactinimum to make the proper filaments.

Great work big guy!

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #9

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the twenty-fourth, so you’re on your own for the actual Twelve Days of Christmas unless we get any more bright ideas. That said, we figure you’ll probably want to be left alone to deal with all the treed fowl, leaping lords, etc., that tend to fill up that period.

Dave’s True Story — A Dave’s True Story Christmas, A Dave’s True Story Christmas II

Dave’s True Story, a brilliant NYC jazz trio currently on indefinite hiatus, released two EPs of Christmas classics which they inflect with their sharp wit, slick chops, and Kelly Flint’s amazing voice. On the first EP, Flint does “Winter Wonderland” with crystalline clarity and smooth soulfulness—both, Confucius kids you not. It’s perfect.

“Let It Snow” really swings, but the backup singers are a little too-too for your Œc. Vol., who’s sure they’re nostalgironic or something, but he’d just as soon a little simpler arrangement. The same is true for “White Christmas” on the second EP. It’s a terrific cover, but the kooky backup vocals distract a simple immortal sorceror like Confucius. “The Christmas Song” is a cheerful bop through Nat King Cole’s backyard. “This Christmas” is a sultry, torchy, sexy…Christmas song? Indeed.

They aren’t available on Amazon, but you can get ’em as one album right here. Or here on iTunes. While you’re there, scroll up and buy, “I’ll Never Read Trollope Again.” It’s the DTS gateway drug. You’ll buy Sex Without Bodies right then and there, and it’s pretty much a straight line to owning their whole catalog. Buy away…yours might be the purchase that convinces them to come back.

Beyond the numbers...

In a CNN poll released today, 49% approve of the job President Obama is doing. This is a jump from 44% a month ago.

Dr. J. from a poll methodology standpoint, the big red flag is that this looks at 1,015 individuals, only 928 of which are registered voters. This doesn't even go into likely voters, but I suspect that this methodology is consistent from month to moth with regard to this specific poll. What is nice is that there are 814 landline respondents and 201 cell phone respondents.

Dr. J. dug into the .pdf for the poll. It didn't give Dr. J. two things he is looking for. First is the breakdown of the percentage of poll takers by party affiliation and geographic distribution. If one is to read the tea leaves for election day, this information would be helpful. The second piece of information that would be useful are last weeks results and breakdown as well, so as to be able to adjust for problems with the sampling.

The biggest flaw in this poll is that they show data from different periods during the Obama presidency on a question by question basis.

For question 1, they list all of the approval polls since 2009. Fine.

For question 2/3 (a Likert scale of Q1), they compare 12/11 to 1/11, 4/10, 1/10, 8/9, 2/9, but not to 11/11. The change in approval rating (Q1) is compared against 11/11. There is probably something interesting when you compare to the fickle populace a month ago.

For question 4, personal likeability, they compare his ratings against different dates from Q2/3. That hasn't changed over time, for whatever reason (Bradley Effect vs. a strong admiration for handsome-yet-smug-faculty-room-types-who-appear-happily-married-with-2-kids-and-a-dog).

Question 5 - this is where the rubber hits the road in the article AND the poll release. While Obama gained 5 points since last month in approval rating, the pollster states that it comes at a cost to Republicans in congress. That may be so, however they provide the 12/11 data against 3/11 data.

Obama's gains have come at the expense of the Republicans in Congress and the GOP in general. By a 50% to 31% margin, people questioned say they have more confidence in the president than in congressional Republicans to handle the major issues facing the country. Obama held a much narrower 44% to 39% margin in March. 

And the GOP's overall favorable rating has dropped to six points, to 43%, since June, while the Democrats' positive rating remained steady at 55%.

Again, (question 6) the Republican and Democratic Party favorabilities (not the President's) are compared against June numbers.

Dr. J. is not going to touch question 6A regarding Congress's approval rating because when you compare the approval ratings for individual congressmen averaged it is much greater than 16% otherwise we wouldn't have the incumbency problem that we have.

Nevertheless, if the cracker-jack team from CNN are correct, this dip may be due, in part from the Democrats and their cheerleaders in the media misrepresenting the demagoguing of the payroll tax debate as President Obama, Speaker Pelosi and the D's caring about the little guy while the big mean cigar chomping Republicans want to take a tax cut from the mouths of the poor to protect their fat cat friends. Shifts in middle class opinion are likely due to not wanting a 2% cut in their paycheck with the Christmas credit card bills due at the end of January.

The reality is that the original payroll tax holiday was a bad idea to begin with. First, theoretically, it is supposed to be a way that individuals fund part of their retirement via Social Security. The reality is that it is essentially a transfer payment where a part of Dr. J.'s pay is deducted and mailed to Mama J., who has a much nicer portfolio than Dr. J. Now, Mama J., in a delicious fit of irony, is saving that money up to leave to Lil Resident and Lil Medstudent. Even then, not enough money is coming in to cover the amount going out.

Secondly, what the payroll tax holiday did was give Obama a weapon, his 'tax cut for the poor' that could be distinctly contrasted from Bush's (income) Tax Cuts For The Rich™. In order to get an extension of the current income tax rates at the end of 2010 (for the people who actually pay income tax) the Republicans had to agree to accelerate the rate at which Social Security would destabilize in order to decrease the likelihood of a double dip recession via a sunset on the current tax rates.  As the payroll tax was due to expire and Henry Reid only seems to work the week before Christmas we are in the mess we are in. Many Republican congressmen want a payroll tax extension that is paid for with spending cuts AND covers the entire calendar year. It really doesn't make sense to do it otherwise.

This poll would not have survived peer review for a scientific journal (at least the ones that Dr. J. reviews for), so this poll is simply an extension of the BO in '12 (Because Everyone Stinks) campaign, a happy handshake from CNN on the way to Hawaii.

Gormogon Advent Calendar - Day 20

Today was GorT's turn to open a door on the advent calendar and while the treat was more along the lines of the traditional advent calendars, I still seem to feel like someone in the castle is snickering.

Mandy's Castle Christmas Tree

For a look at the Inscrutable Mandarin's Christmas Tree, you have to go to the proving grounds behind the Castle proper. In true Mandarin fashion, Mandy wanted to kill two birds with one stone. His MO has always been to weaponize space, and he has always dreamed of weaponizing a Christmas Tree. Here, he marries the two dreams.

Merry Christmas Big Guy!

Twelve More Days of Christmas — Newish Christmas Albums Worth Owning #8

Inspired by Dr. J’s 12 Days of Christmas Music, Confucius says: here’s twelve albums of Christmas music from the past dozen or so years that are worth your while (and money). Of course, this will only bring us to the twenty-fourth, so you’re on your own for the actual Twelve Days of Christmas unless we get any more bright ideas. That said, we figure you’ll probably want to be left alone to deal with all the treed fowl, leaping lords, etc., that tend to fill up that period.

Chanticleer — Christmas with Chanticleer (Featuring Dawn Upshaw)

For the pious and musically inclined, this is the one on the Volgi’s list to snatch up. Outstanding vocal work by the San Francisco-based male ensemble covering carols from the Middle Ages and Renaissance era, right in the group’s wheelhouse.

Outstanding.

“Today the Virgin” blows Confucius away every time.

If Not Gingrich or Romney, Then Who?

JAB replies:

Your Czarness,

Thanks for showing restraint and not banning me from the Castle bar, at least not yet.

Your post "The Enemy of the Good" provides excellent reasons for voting for anyone but Obama. However, you completely misjudge me if you think I'm silly enough to believe that I could manage to "...send a clear message to the GOP to tighten up their game." Outside the friendly confines of the Trailer- Park-at-the-Edge-of-Town, my influence would be, as you rightly say, "comedically small." Your four points, particularly #4 regarding potential Obama Supreme Court justices, serve up a heapin' helpin' of Smack-down. Had you been less charitable you might have justly entitled your post "JAB, You Ignorant Slut!"

I reckon Mr. Borepatch can defend his position himself, but my objection to Newt is NOT that I find his ideas, policies and positions less than perfect. Some of them are quite good in my opinion, though certainly not all. No, Your Czarness, my reason for donning the Shepherd Fairy t-shirt and planting the Doublewide's expansive lawns with OBAMA 2012 signs for all the dogs to piddle on, is that I feel that Newt is a very dangerous person to put anywhere near the power of the Presidency.

You know who a person is by how they live their lives. People, like tigers, cannot change their stripes. Just as an alcoholic may manage to get sober, he remains an alcoholic.

Newt had power once, and he wants it back. Throughout his adult life he has shown he cannot trusted. I think Obama could win the blue ribbon for arrogance at any one of our 57 (so I hear) state fairs. But he would be a rank amateur vs. Newt. Adultery is ugly enough on its own, but Newt deluded himself into believing that he could get away with it. No matter his prominent role in impeaching a sitting President for lying under oath about ....er... "sexual relations" with someone other than his wife. No matter that he held an office that is 3rd in the Constitutional line-of-succession. Did he have no concern about foreign governments discovering his actions and using this knowledge for their own ends???? That is evidence of astonishingly awful judgement and an amazing capacity for self-delusion. It's not that he had no care for his then-wife and whatever marriage vows he took. Newt had no care for the nation nor for the Constitution that he took an oath to serve. You don't get a do-over for that.

If it's Romney, I think I'll be fine with doing just as you say. I'll hold my nose and vote for Mitt-with two- T's. But not Newt. He's just no good.

Yours from the Doublewide, JAB

A trio of comments in reply:

1. Borepatch has indeed replied, most brilliantly in an evolving thread not to be missed by the likes of the Czar. And no, there is little with which we can disagree. He makes a good point that four more years of Obama might be a necessary humilation for the Progressive agenda—that it might take that long to focus Americans’ realizations that Republican Progressivism is no better. We could yet survive. Please read what he has to say: his Sun Tzu analogy is apt.


2. Mark Steyn refers us all to a tightly written essay on why Romney and Gingrich are both bad choices. Read the second link, as it goes into great details that Steyn only quotes. It should make JAB and Borepatch agree with the other. And that is troubling when those two start working together.


3. So what to do? Interestingly, a premise has arisen that could work for Americans regardless of whether Obama, Romney, or Gingrich becomes president: you punish the hell out of the Congress, starting with the House, until they start thinking for themselves. We proved, almost accidentally, we could do it in 2010. Once candidates start seeing that they will be rewarded with employment if they start voting with America instead of merely for themselves, attitudes will change quick. Hey, Barney Frank already got the message. And then this moves to the Senate: start weeding out the Reids and Durbins for the Bachmanns and Pauls and DeMints. Turn the tide from Congress, but start in the House—like we did it in the 1820s. Except we can start right now, in our primaries!

In all, an excellent melding of ideas.

By the way, the Czar got to meet Sun Tzu, thanks to the Volgi, and is sorry to say old Sun was a major jerk. He also was wrong about a lot of stuff but took criticism very poorly. But Borepatch is one of the very few people who quotes Sun Tzu and understands him. Most rare; the Czar finds most people quoting Sun Tzu miss the point by a mile. Borepatch, of course, is not a jerk. The Czar might introduce him to Sun Tzu one day to see what the old boy was really like; the screed which Borepatch would write after the encounter would be hilarious.

Unchanged Weather

Well, we finally get to see what Kim Jong Ŭn (김정은) looks like. In more ways than one.

This morning, some radio pundits were warning listeners that we have to wait and see what happens in North Korea; the order of succession is not very clear, and the powers that were covering for the doddering, addled Kim Il Jong are not about to turn over the keys to his punk kid. There could be real drama as the two sides vie for power.

Nonsense. Kim Jong Un was already positioned to be in power long before the world even discovered he was alive. The Norks announced his arrival on the scene in June, 2009; believe us, the North Koreans already had all the internal paperwork filed and all internal disagreements settled by this point. When the ultra-paranoid North Koreans announce something, it is because the matter is settled.

Back then, the Czar expressed worry that the unusually young leader would be more batshit crazy than his old man. Last night, the Czar reassured you that he would certainly not be the same level of crazy or less. Here is why.

Because he needs to prove himself stronger and more fearsome out of the box. He was named a four star daejang only a couple of years ago, which concerns the ancient military leaders. Is he too young? Already his response has been to announce a rapid expansion of the army. Bad news, everyone: big armies in small countries get bored fast.

He fired a missle of the east coast of the peninsula today in demonstration that he is not to be trifled with. The North Korean miltary respects this.

Despite warnings from the media that the country’s transition must be unstable, or that the nukes could get loose, or that the young man is a puppet of some junta, the reality is that the media is almost consistently wrong about Korea because they know little of its history, whereas the Czar, might we be so bold, tends to be consistently correct on it.

So here it is: the transition will be swift, decisive, and without fuss. News out of the North will die down except for the usual propaganda. And Kim Jong Un will prove himself to be a young man of incredible cruelty and severity—because that is what an old-time Korean ruler does. And the world will do nothing to stop it.

Until he provokes the world with another traditional North Korean tantrum that leaves innocent people dead; then we will wring our hands once more and ask What is to be Done? The answer is nothing, and the furor will die down. And history will repeat.

The best approach for the State Department, which to its credit seems to have a more-than-China approach to world affairs lately, is to take this as a worrisome sign. But appeal to Kim’s baser instincts as a Korean: ensure that outsiders will not take over his country, that they will not fall under either Chinese or Japanese control, and that he and his family will be protected from harm should he begin a systematic reform of the country that slowly takes him and the military out of power. He has enough experience outside the country to appreciate these ideas.

But do not expect North Korea to transform itself to a US-like economy. Or even a Japan-like economy. Heck, South Korea isn’t all that friendly to its own people sometimes: Korean government is all about connections, promotions, and corruption. Cruelty, and demonstrations of it, serves as a useful reminder of Confucian hierarchy. We should be neither excited nor terrified of the transition of power; rather, we should be terribly disappointed that history in Korea always repeats—by careful design.